Solving the Cancer Enigma
by acm13
Summary: AU (slightly) - My remedy to Skins Fire; Naomi has terminal cancer and agrees to be part of a clinical trial where she meets Emily, a young PhD working alongside the doctors. The two quickly build a friendship and Emily starts to question whether it is a good idea to feel this strongly about a patient, or woman... Could it be your remedy too?
1. Chapter 1 - Consent

**A/N – The funny thing about attending conferences is that you get inspired. Me – I got inspired to write this and even though I am supposed to be writing a new chapter for "Uncovering the past", I needed to get this out of my system. I work with cancer research and even though this is completely a work of fiction, there is a lot of truth in there.**

**I hated Skins Fire. So, **_**so**_** much. I cried so, **_**so**_** hard. I still do at the mere thought. This is my remedy…  
><strong>

**Skins is not my creation..**

**Chapter 1. Consent**

**Gina's POV**

_I have to be strong for her, I have to be strong for her. _I had been repeating that mantra to myself ever since she had left for yet another examination. This morning's news had left me completely numb and I was functioning solely on autopilot. Three months ago, Naomi had called me in the middle of the night, screaming in pain. I had to call an ambulance but since I was still living in Bristol and Naomi had moved to London after college, I wasn't at the hospital when they took her in. I had arrived four hours later, having driven like a maniac to get to her as quickly as humanly possible. By then, they had taken numerous samples and several doctors had visited her but without letting her know why she was in so much pain. A morphine drip was keeping the pain under control but even then, I knew my baby was in a lot of pain. She is very stubborn, my daughter, and even during a time of complete distress, she refused to show the doctors any weakness.

The first signs of her illness had been very diffuse; some unexpected lightheadedness, stomach pain and a state of exhaustion that was in strong contrast to her usual go-get-them attitude. However, it had started during her finals and we had decided it was due to the stress of finishing a degree. I will never forgive myself for brushing it off like that. The support groups I had visited during the last few months all mentioned the same thing – how crucial it was for the doctors to discover the disease early. In retrospect, three months probably wouldn't have made the biggest difference but then again, the possibility exists that it might have. After spending a few days in hospital, the results from the excessive testing had come back with every mother's greatest fear; my child had cancer. The doctors and nurses had already explained that there was a great risk of cancer and we were therefore not as shocked as we otherwise would have been. A few days in hospital being visited by a variety of doctors with grim-looking expressions can really make you understand that life as you know it is about to change forever.

Immediately, Naomi had been given chemo –and external radiation therapy and was spending more time in a hospital bed than at home or at work. She had never really gotten the chance to sink her teeth into her new position at the firm but her bosses had been supportive and still sent flowers to her hospital room every Friday. She had been working there as a paralegal while finishing law school and was guaranteed a position as a junior associate the minute she finished her degree. She was supposedly on sick-leave but due to the great relationship she had with the firm, they were still paying her the full salary. For all intents and purposes, she had been working "from home" during these past months. Their continued support meant a lot to Naomi, I knew that, even if she wouldn't admit to it. She had tried to prevent them from fussing about her, telling them that that was what _I_ was for but her colleagues would have none of it. Someone from the office stopped by once a week and kept her up to speed on the current gossip as well as any big work-related news. There was no way of making sure but I believed that treating her as normally as possible was helping her cope with the situation.

In the beginning I was going back and forth between Bristol and London. Every time Naomi had a chemo-session, I took leave from work and drove down. At the height of each therapy cycle, the side effects left her so weak that she couldn't get out of bed. I eventually quit my job, sold our house and moved into her apartment. She needed her mother and nothing in the world could stop me from being by her side. During her childhood, I went through a lot of different stages and let a lot of strange people into Naomi's life. I had her at a young age and was barely out of my teens when I all of a sudden found myself a single parent. Naturally, men had come and gone in my life and therefore in Naomi's, although most of them she was glad to see disappear. I hadn't always put her interests first, although in all fairness she never was the type to be babied and protected. She had always been so independent and stubborn and I can honestly not remember a single time she asked me for help with her homework.

During her early teens, our house had turned into a communal living facility and she really had little privacy in her life. She spent most of her time doing volunteer work for the homeless or working part time. She always complained that she needed the extra money so that she could "get the fuck out of here ASAP". All of the extra work panned out when she was accepted to one of the top legal programs in the country. Unfortunately for me it was in London. Although, looking back, it was probably more of a stroke of luck, since our relationship improved greatly during her first years at Uni. She had always been so incredibly protective of her personal life and the only friend of hers that I met more than once was Cook. Going away to London had matured her and she slowly started sharing her life with me. During her second year, she surprised me by coming home for Easter and announced that she had brought someone home with her for me to meet. Sarah was her name and Naomi presented her, quite proudly I might add, as her girlfriend. I was a bit taken aback and felt daft that I hadn't realized it sooner. It was like all the little pieces that made up the puzzle that was my daughter all of a sudden fell into place. When they left the room to go and unpack their things, I actually shed a few tears. Not because I was homophobic or upset but because I finally felt that Naomi had let me into her life again, after years of holding me at arm's length. Since then, she had confided in me and I had learned that she wasn't inexperienced in terms of boys but that she had understood at age sixteen that being gay was a real possibility. It had taken her affection for Sarah to truly embrace it but had still kept it a secret from me for an entire year. She wasn't really scared to tell me about it but she didn't want to introduce me to Sarah until she knew it was going to be a long term relationship. I suppose having introduced her to so many men that never turned out to be long term-things had made her careful of repeating my mistake.

Cook was a troubled child and had gotten into trouble both at school and with the law at a young age. It was the only way to generate any type of response or reaction from his estranged mother and most of the time, her response was to send him more money. So he became a regular fixture at our house and at times, it felt like he spent as much time there as she did. For the longest time, I thought they were a couple and kept dropping hints so she would finally admit to it. As it turns out, they never were, although I always suspected that Cook was in love with her. He wasn't really the type to neither fall nor stay in love but Naomi was the only constant thing in his life and I knew he loved her dearly. A couple of weeks ago, during one of her chemo-sessions, Naomi admitted to me that they had in fact once tried to see if there was more to them than friendship, but she had thought the whole thing wasn't right and couldn't go through with it.

He got himself expelled from college during the second year and went a little crazy, almost getting himself thrown in jail. His lawyer struck a deal and he ended up in a military school where discipline was first on the agenda, all day - every day. Turns out that was what he needed to stay on the straight and narrow and he found the entire thing inspiring and eventually joined the army the day after his eighteenth birthday. He was currently stationed in Afghanistan and I hadn't been able to reach him. I kept leaving messages for him but he had yet to respond to any of them. Naomi had tried to get in touch as well and was really worried and of course, hurt, that he wasn't getting back to her. She was worried that he had gotten hurt over there but every time a British soldier was injured or killed there was a news announcement. Cook had stated Naomi as his emergency contact and we felt reassured every time such an announcement was made and Naomi's phone didn't ring. There was simply some other explanation as to why our messages weren't getting through. It was however, crucial for the both of them that he get in touch, not only because it was important to Naomi but because I knew Cook would never get over her dying if he didn't get a chance to say goodbye. Honestly, I wasn't even sure he would survive it either way, that's how much he loved her.

This morning was supposed to be the start of a new chemo-cycle but after meeting with her oncologist, plans had changed. The chemo wasn't working and new metastases had shown up on her scans. There was nothing more they could do for her except do their very best to improve her quality of life, however short that life was going to be. They had taken her away to get some fluids drained from her abdomen, leaving me with a bit of peace to gather my wits. I wiped the tears from my cheeks and checked my reflection in the bathroom mirror. I removed some smudged mascara and gave myself a smile, repeating my mantra; _I have to be strong for her._

**Emily's POV**

I had been up half the night fighting with Jeremy and was late to our regular Monday group meeting. Jeremy had once again brought up the fact that I was spending more time at the lab or the hospital during the weekends than I was with him. Technically, he was right as I really was spending more hours at the lab than at home, but in my defense, we had some pretty important stuff coming up and we weren't quite ready. Clocking in some extra hours during weekends was helping and I had tried to explain to him that once we got started with the trial, everything was going to go back to normal. I would only be working a normal week, nine-to-five, and I wouldn't have to bring work home either. It's just that getting ready for a clinical trial is always overwhelming and we had only gotten the approval a few weeks ago. Kieran had of course, being the eternal optimist he is, already been scanning the hospitals of London for potential participants. We had ten patients on the short list, all of whom were terminal.

I ran up the spiral stairs and finally joined my colleagues, panting and visibly sweating. "Sorry guys", I managed to huff out between gasps of air, holding up one hand in apology whilst finding a seat.

"We were actually waiting for you, Emily." Kieran smiled, the excitement of today's importance showing all over his bearded face. I couldn't help but return the smile and was happy that he thought I was important enough to wait for before starting the meeting. "We need the purification data you compiled this weekend", he continued and my smile disappeared. They weren't actually waiting for me because I was a crucial member of the team but because they needed my results. _I'm such a schmuck_.

"Right, sorry", I mumbled as I got out a file from my bag and handed it to him. He studied it thoroughly and kept nodding to himself. When he finished, he looked up and smiled at the lot of us.

"Let's get this thing rolling!", he exclaimed as he slammed the file shut, his Australian accent slightly more evident than usual. That tended to happen when he got either really excited or devastatingly upset. I had never heard him sound like the full-blooded Australian that I knew he was until the day we finally received approval for the trial. He had actually picked me up and twirled me around while laughing and speaking some Australian gibberish. It had been the best day in months and we had all gone out to celebrate, a huge weight having been lifted off our shoulders.

Kieran dimmed the lights and started his power point presentation describing each patient down to the slightest detail; full body scans showing the approximate size and location of metastases, the primary tumor and a detailed medical history, including biopsy results and responses to previous treatments. All patients were different ages and had different stories but had two things in common; they were terminal and suffering from neuroendocrine cancer. About half had pancreatic cancer and these represented the more severe cases, all rippled with metastases, both local and distant. Kieran distributed copies of the patient files and we went through them one by one. The morning meeting ran through lunch as the discussion carried on and after a quick, emphasis on quick, bite to eat, Kieran, JJ and I caught a cab and went to visit the first patient on the list.

By late afternoon, we had gotten consent from eight out of nine patients and even though Kieran was disappointed it wasn't nine out of nine, it had been a rewarding day. The last patient I needed no help remembering. Her name alone had made an impression and Kieran had had to explain that it wasn't actually Naomi Campbell, 42, supermodel but Naomi Campbell, 23, lawyer and currently dying from an aggressive pancreatic cancer. We arrived at St. Mary's and went straight to their oncology department where Naomi's oncologist was waiting for us with the results of her latest PET/CT-scan. After a brief discussion about the mental state of the patient, he took us to her room.

The oncologist knocked softly on the door as he opened it. "Gina?", he whispered. A forty-something woman with sandy hair sitting in the lounger by the bed looked up at him with a questioning expression. The room was dark, with the blinds down and lights off. Naomi herself was lying on her side facing away from us. "Is she asleep?", the doctor whispered.

"No", Naomi answered, "I'm not." We followed the doctor into the room as Naomi slowly turned in the bed to face us. "What's all this then?", she asked, her voice slightly strained from the pain of moving into a sitting position.

"Miss Campbell, Mrs. Campbell," Kieran nodded to the both of them, "My name is Kieran and I am a doctor and a scientist. This fine young man is JJ, he's a brilliant doctor and next to him is Emily who is a brilliant scientist.", he explained while gesturing towards us. Gina smiled warmly at the both of us but Naomi was clearly unimpressed. Kieran continued his speech, "Our research focuses on neuroendocrine tumors and we are currently starting a clinical trial to further understand and hopefully improve treatment options for patients like you, Naomi." Kieran shot her his most earnest of smiles but still, the young woman was unimpressed. That didn't deter Kieran though as he rounded up his proposal, "I would like to offer you the unique opportunity to help future victims of your devastating disease by joining our clinical trial."

Despite light flowing in through the open door, the room was still quite dark and I hadn't actually seen Naomi's or Gina's faces clearly. As Kieran finished his speech, Gina turned on the lamp next to the bed and took her daughter's hand in a supportive gesture before answering, "but Naomi has pancreatic cancer, not this neuro-whatever-it-was."

Kieran opened his mouth to reply but Naomi beat him to it, sounding slightly exasperated. "Mum, pancreatic cancer _is _neuroendocrine cancer."

"You are indeed correct, Miss Campbell, and quite clever, I might add.", JJ offered and smiled. Coming from anyone other than JJ, that would have been the cheesiest line ever to be spoken but his honest, good-natured guise somehow transformed it into a compliment. Naomi turned her face towards where JJ and I were standing by the door and when her blue eyes found us, I swallowed a gasp as I felt the air being sucked from the room. She awarded JJ a small smile at his compliment and I felt a desperate need to grab hold of something to keep me steady. Her eyes were extraordinary; a light-azure color and seemed to sparkle as her small smile reached them. JJ must have been just as taken aback by their beautiful power as I noticed his cheeks turning slightly red under her gaze.

"Would it make her worse?", Gina asked, "the chemo was horrible and she has been so much better since they stopped it." Kieran regarded her with a sad look.

"Yes, chemotherapy can be truly horrible to the body", he answered, taking a step towards Naomi's bed. "Which is why we want to improve our treatment options. We are not here to torment you further and we are not here to give you false hope. This trial involves testing a new way of delivering radiation to the tumors, killing the cancer without damaging any normal organs or tissues." Kieran had closed the remaining distance between himself and Naomi and his exaltation was clearly visible. "If our hypothesis proves true, it will be an unprecedented breakthrough in radioimmuno-targeting." He lost them there, I could see it in their faces. I stepped in.

"It's a way of using the cancer cells against themselves", I explained, stepping forward in the process. Naomi turned her eyes to regard me and I had to steady myself on the railing at the foot of her bed. _What is wrong with me today? _I pulled myself together and offered her a warm smile. "By utilizing how they differ from normal cells and using radiation, to stop them from growing or, in the best case scenario, kill them."

Naomi was watching, no studying me, and I started faltering under her scrutinizing gaze. She let her eyes wander from my hair to my lips before once again connecting with my eyes. She shot me a sly smile and I felt myself blush but couldn't help but return her smile.

"Alright", Naomi finally said, releasing me from her hold, "what exactly would I have to do?"

Kieran absolutely lit up and the Australian accent reappeared as he started to explain the layout of the clinical trial. Gina smiled at him and seemed to focus all of her attention on him, whereas Naomi was listening intently but every now and again, her eyes drifted to mine, effectively taking my breath away.

**So! As I said, I had to get this started and hopefully I will continue once I have a little more time.. If you liked it and would like to motivate me to continue or help me become a better writer, send a review or PM my way or follow the story! **


	2. Chapter 2 - First Impressions

**A/N - I am really, really humbled by the response I have received after posting the first chapter and it absolutely motivated me to keep writing, despite being short of time! I managed to squeeze in a little writing here and there and I hope you will be pleased with the outcome. **

**Disclaimer; Skins is not mine, the story however, is…**

**Chapter 2. First Impressions**

**Emily's POV**

Once everything was set in motion, we moved very quickly to get each of the nine patients transferred to our facilities at King's College. Due to the severity of their illnesses, time was not to be wasted as each and every one of them could take a turn for the worse at any moment and affect the outcome of the study. We were hoping for at least three full cycles before pausing to assess the results and determine the potential toxicity of the treatment. We had paired everyone up but since we had a total of nine patients, one would have to be left out. Seeing as Naomi was a very young woman and had her mother by her side at most hours of the day, Kieran had decided she would be happier on her own. She had been transferred on Tuesday and I was looking at the some of her recent results. She really was the perfect candidate for the trial and I knew that Kieran's heart was bleeding a little extra for her. She was very young to have such an aggressive NET and since she had been diagnosed only a few months ago, she was headed towards a very untimely and painful death. We all knew that a pilot study such as the one we were preparing for, didn't offer much hope for the participants. There was simply no way of knowing how or if the tumors would respond, and we were very careful when explaining the goals of the trial to the patients and their loved ones. False hope was unacceptable but on the other hand, there was a reason we were doing the trial and a reason Kieran was so excited about it.

Naomi had occupied my mind since our first meeting. I had gone home that night in a haze and was thankful that Jeremy was away on business this week. Oddly enough, in Jeremy's mind, his being away a week at a time on business was quite different than my staying late at the hospital a couple of nights a week. I never really got the distinction and felt a little bitter since all we seemed to do lately was fight about _my_ absence. I had taken copies of the patient files home and studied them thoroughly, treating myself to a glass of wine. Somehow, I found myself spending excessive time on Naomi's file, going over our meeting in my head. The memory of her eyes haunted me, which wasn't unusual as I too had a bleeding heart, but had represented itself quite differently this time. I found myself completely lost in the memory of her piercing, beautiful blue eyes. Several times, I had tried and failed to recall the rest of her face and instead kept reliving the sensation her eyes and her presence had caused. I kept smiling and blushing at the memory. For some yet to be determined reason, I found her captivating. Technically, we hadn't even had a conversation yet but I felt as if I already knew and cared for her. I suppose the fact that she was my age alongside knowing her entire medical history and with that, a lot of intimate details, could result in that. It felt like she had an inexplicable power over me, even after only a brief meeting.

We had been keeping very busy and working into the late hours of the night and my mind kept drifting to her when I really should be focusing on the work at hand. I was so curious about her and about how it was possible for Naomi to have such a hold on me. I felt a desperate need to satisfy my obsession and was anxiously awaiting a reason to pay her a visit. This data at hand finally offered that. I gathered my things, as I would be leaving for the day after seeing her. Jeremy wasn't back until Saturday so I was free and my sister Katie was hosting a dinner party that I had declined, however, she had made me promise to show myself for at least one drink later in the evening. I had therefore put a little effort into my appearance and wasn't wearing the traditional lab-coat when I reached Naomi's room.

I knocked softly before entering and expected Gina, Naomi's ever present mother to greet me. She was however, nowhere to be seen and Naomi was once again lying on her side with her back to the door. After a short moment of hesitation, I walked across the room to the bed and stood before Naomi. I could only just make out the soft features of her face and I knew that this time, she was indeed sleeping. Her lips were parted slightly, her breathing heavy. I checked the morphine drop and decided that it wasn't the cause of her slumber and checked my watch. _Half past six. _I still had time and I really wanted to tell her the good news so I decided to wait. I sat down in the lounger facing her and spent a little more time relishing in her sleeping face. I only then realized that all this time, I had thought it was simply her azure eyes that had captivated me but at the moment, her eyes were hidden under soft eyelids and yet, her power over me persisted. Without realizing it, an hour had passed and there was no sign of her coming to. Still, I was planted in that chair, unable to escape let go of my obsession.

Luckily, an orderly came to serve Naomi her dinner and she finally stirred. She reached out and flipped the light switch for the lamp on the nightstand and gasped as her eyes adjusted to the light and settled on me.

**Naomi's POV**

There she was again, that beautiful researcher that had visited with Kieran. I had been hoping I would see her again but she hadn't visited all week. They had moved me to King's College the day after their first visit and I had been visited by both Kieran and JJ several times since then. They had made a great point of explaining everything and JJ had lost himself in way too many detailed explanations about cancer progression and how my type of illness differed from other cancer types. I consider myself quite smart but in the end, I lost it and Mum gave up trying to follow his train of thought even before he started. She spent most of the time making flirty eyes at Kieran, who obviously had also taken a liking to her. At the end of their last visit earlier today, Mum had actually surprised Kieran by pulling him into an embrace. I smiled at the memory of his surprised face and my mother's flushed cheeks as she let him go. _She'll need someone once I'm gone._ Immediately, the smile disappeared as the grim reality hit me once again. The beautiful woman in front of me, Emily was her name, frowned in concern.

"I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to startle you", she apologized, genuine concern eminent in her voice and face. _Such a stunning face… Jesus, Naomi, stop it! _

I shook my head,"you didn't. Well, you did, but in a nice way." I tried to give her a genuine smile but the way I was looking these days, it probably looked more like a grimace. _I must look horrible! _I ran my fingers through what was left of my light brown hair and ended up feeling even worse.

She gave me a smile that never really reached her eyes; I noticed this because I once again found it hard to focus on her without getting lost in her incredibly deep, dark-brown eyes. I was actually thankful that Kieran and JJ had visited so often because I honestly couldn't remember anything from that first meeting aside from the words 'clinical trial, pancreatic cancer and you'. The rest was a huge blur circling around the distinct memory of the most exquisite creature I had ever laid my eyes on. Her shoulder-length hair was straight and so dark it was almost black, but you could tell it was her natural hair color. I remember locking eyes with her as JJ had given me that cheesy, yet endearing compliment. She hadn't actually done or said anything and yet, I felt the all too familiar fluttering of the butterflies I had given up all hope for, knowing my abdomen was full of metastases. I had observed the same sensation mirrored in those absolutely mesmerizing eyes as she momentarily averted her gaze and she put a hand to the wall, steadying herself. When she had spoken for the first time, my tired heart had started to pound in my chest and I was momentarily thankful that I was no longer hooked up to a heart monitor. Her voice was the exquisite equivalent to her stunning face and I knew right then and there that I was in trouble. So, _so _much trouble. She was obviously straight or at least believed that she was and I was her patient. Oh, and there was of course the slight issue of my, you know, dying within a few months.

Realizing that none of us had spoken for quite a while, I cleared my throat, "so, Emily, was it? What brings you by?"

At my question, Emily's demeanor changed and I saw the scientist in her reemerging. She had a file resting across her knees, which she now opened and laid across my lap, pointing out a certain figure. I really didn't know what it meant but I didn't want to seem like an idiot either. I stared at the page for what seemed like an eternity, trying to figure out what the fuck I was looking at.

"It's your renal score", Emily explained, smiling. I looked up at her with a questioning eyebrow raised. She smiled again and this time it reached all the way to her wonderful eyes. I felt a little warmth in my cheeks, which must have shown since I was so pale I was barely visible against the white sheets of the hospital bed. She carried on and probably hadn't noticed, "It means your kidneys are in tip-top shape, which means…"

"Which means you can treat the hell out of me," I interrupted, actually feeling a bit excited.

"Exactly!", she exclaimed, equally excited. She stood and took the file back, smiling warmly at me. "JJ said you were clever so I thought you might be interested in seeing this yourself." Emily's excitement was growing and her eyes were glowing, "come Monday, you will be moved to the isolation wing and you will start your first treatment cycle, at the highest dose we feel comfortable with." I wasn't really sure how to react to that but she was absolutely adorable in her exited state, practically beaming, and I was once again reminded that I was in deep, deep trouble here. It had been a long time since any medical professional had given me actual _good_ news and even though I knew that my disease was still going to best me, I couldn't help but feel a little reassured. I smiled warmly at her and reached out and placed my hand on hers.

"Thank you."

**Emily's POV**

I felt the energy course through me before I felt the actual sensation of her hand resting on top of mine. It rippled through me before setting off an army of butterflies that had taken up residence in my stomach all of a sudden. She was smiling at me and her eyes had locked with mine, reminding me of the power they possessed. Her face was expressing genuine gratitude but there was something else, something I couldn't quite define but it was pulling me closer. I felt my hand respond to her touch and unconsciously turned it slightly to allow myself to fully hold her hand. I started stroking my thumb gently across the back of her hand and wondered at the softness of it. _What am I doing? _I forced myself to avert my eyes, regretfully letting go of her hand in the process.

I cleared my throat, needing a minute to reclaim my professionalism. _Honestly, Emily, what are you thinking?_ "Anyway, I should be getting out of your hair." I nodded towards her dinner at the table next to her, "enjoy your dinner." I felt like an idiot but I really couldn't think of anything to say since the only thing my mind was currently focused on, was remembering the sensation of having Naomi's hand in mine. I turned towards the chair and picked up my jacket.

"Got a hot date?", Naomi asked and could literally hear the smirk in her voice, despite having my back turned.

"As a matter of fact, I do!", I replied, smiling as I turned around to face her. "With this smoking hot brunette with fantastic brown eyes, the cutest little button-nose and a hilarious lisp that makes my heart flutter." I emphasized the word 'smoking' and noticed Naomi frowning slightly. "There's just this one, tiny issue…", I sighed, feigning despair. Naomi raised an inquiring eyebrow, urging me to continue. "She's my twin sister." I threw my hands up in mock hopelessness.

Naomi's face went through a few stages of realization before she started giggling. "That is indeed a problem…", She had the most endearing giggle and looked adorable when she had to cover her mouth with a hand as the giggle turned into laughter. The butterflies in my stomach were having a field day, spreading upward to my heart. "So not a date then?", she said as the laughter died out.

I grinned and shook my head, "no, though I am meeting my sister for drinks."

Naomi tilted her head back, closed her eyes and let out a loud groan. I immediately rushed to her side, reaching for her hand, worried that she was suddenly in an enormous amount of pain.

"Ugghh! Alcohol! Oh, how I miss thee!", she exclaimed and I stopped in my tracks, feeling quite silly for worrying. She opened her eyes, smiling but as she saw my self-conscious expression and close proximity, the smile faded. "I supposed I shouldn't really let out cries like that when I'm dying in a hospital bed, should I?" She looked almost ashamed and fiddled a little with her hands.

I smiled reassuringly, reached out and touched her shoulder lightly. "I'm just relieved you weren't in any pain." Naomi looked up at me, a sad expression spreading across her beautiful face.

"Still, sorry about that.", she paused, "and I am, you know. In pain." Tears were forming in her eyes and I could tell she was fighting to keep them from emerging. The mood in the room had gone from light and flirty back to the bitter reality of her situation in a matter of seconds. She looked away, ashamed.

I felt a desperate need to make her feel better, make her giggle and laugh again but I was at a loss for words. Her head was turned away from me and she was biting her lip to keep from crying. I couldn't stand it, so I sat down on her bed, leaned towards her and reached out and placed two fingers on her chin, turning her face towards me. A stray tear was running down her cheek and I wiped it away with my thumb and continued to stroke her cheek for a while, relishing in the softness of her skin. She smiled and locked her eyes with mine. I instantly became aware of our closeness. I was still leaning towards her and our faces were suddenly unnervingly close. My hand was resting on her cheek and as I gazed into her stunningly beautiful eyes, I felt myself leaning closer. Naomi's eyes quickly drifted to my lips before returning to my eyes and I felt utterly powerless.

**And I'm going to stop there because I have to go to a new session now. I realize things might be moving quickly but let's face facts; Naomi only has a few months to live so they kinda have to! I toned down the science a bit in this chapter but it will increase in specificity soon…**

**Please keep sending reviews or PM's my way, as they are a source of motivation, inspiration and analysis! :)  
><strong>


	3. Chapter 3 - Implications

**A/N – I realize this took almost a week to update, which is a record of the unflattering kind on my behalf. I am very thankful to the sweet reviewers, anonymous or otherwise, who encouraged me to keep going with this story! **

**A little backstory in this chapter but more Naomily to follow soon!**

**Skins is awesome but not mine…**

**Chapter 3. Implications**

**Naomi's POV**

Emily's lips were soft and moist, her palm warm against my cheek. The kiss itself was innocent but tender and I could feel the honesty shining through. It was over before I could really respond to it or even close my eyes to fully enjoy the sensation of a first kiss. Well technically, a first kiss implied more kisses were to follow and I wasn't really sure what this was. I had had less than three conversations with Emily, having only met her twice and still, her one, simple kiss and sweet caress had caused ripples of emotions to course through my diseased body. I watched her face closely as she pulled away. Her eyes were closed and her lips were still slightly pursed. A frown spread as she opened her eyes, her palm still warm against my cheek. As if waking from a haze, she shook her head and pulled her hand away as if it had been burnt by my cheek. She was uncomfortable and confused and I honesty couldn't blame her. _What the fuck had just happened? _

I had known I was attracted to Emily the minute I laid eyes on her but I had only seen her that one time and really couldn't be sure I would ever see her again. However, I had spent most of my waking moments daydreaming about her exquisite features and the way her husky voice had made my stomach flutter. Waking up tonight to her beautiful face had turned my daydream into reality and her flirtatious behavior had made me remember what it was like to be normal, or, you know, not dying. Somehow, I had no problem with her, despite being a total stranger and part of the medical staff, taking a seat in my otherwise very private bed and I sure as fuck didn't have any issues with her holding my hand or caressing my face. I just wasn't really sure why she was doing it all… She probably pitied me or was trying to make sure I wasn't backing out of the trial but then, out of nowhere, or well, after about five seconds of flirting, she had kissed me. For a moment, Emily had gazed into my eyes with more passion and fire than Sarah or anyone I had ever been with, had before and she had kissed me with such honesty. It was quick and innocent but I would savor it and keep it close to my heart for the remainder of my short life.

I'm gay and I love women, I really do. And I have gotten my fair share of them since realizing why Cook and I could never seem to get it on. I have had drunken shags in bathroom stalls in office buildings and bars and I have shared a bed with the same woman for years. But never in my life had I experienced anything as unexpected and sweet as this. It was strange and obviously inappropriate and still felt like the most natural thing in the world. I hated when nurses or doctors got too familiar with me, sitting on the side of my bed, talking to me like we were old chums out for a beer. I liked it better when people were straight with me, which is why I had taken a liking to both Kieran and JJ. They kept their professionalism but still managed to make me laugh. JJ was hilarious when he got 'locked on' as Kieran had called it and Kieran himself was adorable when he was around my Mum. They both acted a little like teenagers; too scared to say out loud that they fancied each other. I understood that Kieran probably had to keep a professional distance in regard to his patients but I couldn't help but wonder if he was actually capable of doing so. He never treated me with the same condescending indignity as other doctors. He was always straight with me and either he or JJ patiently answered both mine and Mum's endless questions. I knew there were eight other patients in this trial but I had no idea how much time Kieran and JJ spent with them because they were with me for around two hours a day and even though I knew they worked a lot, I seriously doubted that they spent 18 hours a day simply talking to their patients.

I watched the beautiful but obviously very uncomfortable and flustered PhD squirm as if she were uncomfortable in her own skin. She apparently couldn't decide on whether to button or unbutton her coat and kept glancing up at me with a shy smile on her face. I simply watched her, not really knowing what to do or how to react to what had just happened. She was obviously startled and had done something seemingly out of character and probably highly unethical and she appeared to be in a real hurry to get out of my room. She glanced my way again as she headed for the door, still not having said a word after kissing me. She stopped as she put her hand on the doorknob and took a deep breath, sighing as she exhaled, her shoulders slouching. She started to turn around, clearing her throat as she did when Mum came crashing through the door, almost knocking Emily down.

"Oh!", Mum exclaimed, dropping the bag of magazines she had in her hand on the floor. "I didn't see you there, Emily, was it?" Mum smiled heartedly.

"No, no, it's completely my fault", Emily answered and helped Mum pick up the magazines. She had dropped her file with my renal results in the process and Mum actually picked up on it for once. She pointed to it.

"What's this then? Any news?"

Emily picked up the file and smiled shyly at Mum before looking to me, her smile widening in the process. "Nothing big but I think your daughter can fill you in, right Naomi?" Her smile was warm and she seemed less flustered and much more confident. _I suppose science is her mojo, then... _I nodded and held my hand out for Mum. She came and sat down on the side of my bed, regarding me with a questioning look. I smiled at her.

Emily took that as her cue to leave and gave me one last, genuine smile before saying, "have a good night then, I'll see you bright and early Monday!" Her gaze flicked to my lips for a brief second before heading out the door.

"Thank you, Emily", Mum called after her as Emily closed the door to my room behind her. "Such a pretty girl, don't you think?", she asked me with an annoyingly knowing smile on her face. I rolled my eyes and decided against letting Mum in on the little intimate moment I had shared with the beautiful PhD just moments before she had come crashing through the door, _Heat_ in hand. I would keep that moment locked in my mind and let it replenish my strength until Monday morning.

**Emily's POV**

As soon as I left Naomi's room, I ran. Down the hall, down the stairs, to the exit and all the way to the Tube. I stood there, panting, bent over with hands on knees and couldn't believe what I had just done. _What the hell, Emily? _I had kissed her! Kissed her! A patient! I surprised myself at the realization that my biggest objection was that Naomi was a patient, _not _that she was a woman. However, I suppose the ethical implications were a bit worse than the actual sexual confusion I was experiencing at the moment. She held such power over me that even now, I could feel the tingling sensation of her lips on mine and my fingers remembered the softness of her flawless skin. I shook my head in an attempt to rid myself of the sensation.

I got on the tube and sat down. Katie's flat was a ten minute ride which gave me some time to reflect on passed events. I was always a realist and pragmatist when it came to emotions, something that had spilled over from my scientific mindset, I guess. I was engaged to Jeremy, we had been together for three years and we lived together. This was all very logical and pragmatic; met a boy, fell in love, got engaged, moved in together. All very logical and smart. He was a nice man and we were a lot alike, both focused and passionate about our work and that was what had attracted me to him in the first place. We had spent hours in passionate discussions about our work and our interests and I had felt an intellectual connection to him more than a physical one. We became fast friends and it didn't take him long to ask me out. I cared for him deeply and the first two years had been great. He was my best friend and we had a lot of fun together. I never, ever thought I would be attracted to another man again but I suppose I still wasn't.

Jeremy had never made the air disappear from my lungs or my stomach flutter but I had never thought about it before because no one had ever set off an army of butterflies in my stomach. So I assume I didn't know it was supposed to. But one single, completely innocent touch from Naomi had and it had been pointless to resist her tonight. The only problem was that she hadn't really done anything, had she? She had in fact hardly spoken a word whereas I had practically jumped her. I slapped my forehead several times, receiving worried looks from the other passengers, before burying my head in my hands. _What the fuck, Emily?_

It's not like I haven't kissed a girl before, which self-respecting, open-minded young woman hasn't in this day and age? But I had never _meant _it before. And why did I mean it now, anyway? I hardly knew her and we had barely spoken more than two words to each other. But one touch of her hand and a staring contest with those stunningly blue eyes, and I had never meant anything as much in my entire life. Horrified, I realized I hadn't even apologized for my inappropriate behavior and that she was probably telling her mother about the whole thing right this minute. I needed to figure this out and do some damage control before Monday or I would have to come clean to Kieran.

I had been completely absorbed in my thoughts and missed my stop. Cursing, I got off two stops later and walked back to my sister's, muttering to myself although not so much at having to walk. It was well past nine before I arrived at Katie's which turned out to be perfect timing as they were just finishing up dessert. She greeted me with a smile and peck on the cheek whilst taking my coat. I smiled thankfully and happily accepted the glass of red wine handed to me by Katie's friend Effy. I joined the rest of the party in the living room and was greeted by more friendly faces. I wasn't planning on staying long but as I was gulping the wine down and sharing a careless laugh with uncomplicated people, I realized it was exactly what I needed right now. I finished my glass and Effy topped it off before taking a seat on Katie's couch.

Katie and Effy worked with costume design for the big playhouses in the West End. Chances were that if you went to a play, my sister had a hand in designing either the clothes or the set or both. Effy was the more creative of the two but Katie was the better craftsman and had an unrelenting business-sense. Effy tended to let her mind drift when it came down to discussing payment or timelines, so Katie did most of the administrative work and let Effy sit by the drawing board and dream up fantastically beautiful things that were almost as beautiful as she was. _Jesus, one little kiss and I'm perving on my sister's best friend? _I shook my head and downed the rest of my glass.

"Whoa there Emsy! Tough day?", Katie asked teasingly but slightly worried, probably at the speed I was downing wine.

"No, it was great, actually." I paused and smiled and held out my glass for Effy to fill once again. "I kinda feel like celebrating!"

Effy smirked at me and emptied the bottle in my glass. "Not often we get to see Emily let loose, Katie. You shouldn't ruin the moment." I smiled thankfully and she winked at me.

"Fine", Katie sighed, "tell me you've at least had dinner?"

I shook my head childishly while I took another sip, already feeling the alcohol rush to my head. Katie disappeared into the kitchen and came out with a plate of deliciously looking pasta and some shredded parmesan on the side. I delved in, only stopping to laugh or take another swig of wine. All thoughts of Naomi's soft lips, silky skin and piercing eyes vanished by my fourth glass of wine and I spent the remainder of the night dancing with my twin and her friends in her living room.

A loud noise coming from my sister's kitchen woke me up. The sound hurt my ears, eyes and head. "What the fuck?", I shouted angrily.

"Sorry!"

I recognized the voice of my younger brother, James, and quickly got up but regretting it immediately when blinding pain shot from one side of my head to the other. I went to the kitchen, massaging my temples on the way. "James? What are you doing here?" I sneered, annoyed at being awake this early and with a horrible headache.

"Katie always has the most delicious leftovers", he shrugged while stuffing a handful of cold pasta in his mouth and licking his fingers clean. I realized he was drunk off his face and probably hadn't been to bed yet despite it being early morning. He had moved here to attend Uni this fall and had become a frequent visitor at Katie's flat whenever food was included. The two of them had never really been close, as Katie had been busy with boys and popularity growing up, whereas James had been busy spying on us in the bathroom. That combination wasn't a match made in heaven and I was glad they were getting along better these days.

Realizing he was right, I dove into the cold pasta myself – it was just as delicious now as last night. I recovered my purse and took out a handful of painkillers, filled a glass of water and swallowed two. I handed James some pills and the glass of water. "Thanks Sis, always looking out for me", he said and winked which caused him to sway slightly. I shook my head, took his hand and dragged him to the couch. He complained a little, muttering about not being a baby but as soon as his head hit the pillow, he was basically asleep. I covered him with a blanket and refilled the water glass, placing it on the coffee table in front of him. I brushed some hair from his forehead and smiled. It's amazing how easily you can set aside your own discomfort as soon as someone you love is in need. At that thought, Gina's face sprung to mind, quickly followed by Naomi's and I started to recall why I had had five extra glasses of wine last night. _Shit! _I looked at my watch and realized that Jeremy would be home in a couple of hours and I needed to get this sorted before he came home. I also needed a change of clothes, a shower and a toothbrush, all of which Katie could provide. I jumped in the shower while brushing my teeth and ransacked Katie's wardrobe for something that felt remotely like my style. Most of her clothes were colorful which fitted the fabulous world of theater nicely but would get some rather strange looks while walking down the corridor at King's College University Hospital. I wrote a quick note to Katie, who was still sound asleep and let myself out.

**I have always loved the Fitch-family and I felt like quickly introducing a grown up (or almost anyway) James Fitch as well as Katie and Effy. Naomily interaction will follow in the next chapter and a whole lot of science too… I hope you keep reading and keep sending reviews my way! Sound off if you like it or if it sucks! **


	4. Chapter 4 - Explanations

**A/N – Some science here, most of which is actually quite accurate, however void of some major details… Less Naomily interaction than I had planned but I hope you stay tuned for that part in the coming chapters! **

**And to the anonymous reviewer who posted a review of chapter 3 only minutes ago, asking for more – I thank you and I am happy to oblige!**

**Skins – not mine..**

**Chapter 4. Explanations**

**Naomi's POV**

It was the best night's sleep I had had in weeks. After eating my dinner and explaining to Mum about the result of my renal score, I had closed my eyes and dreamt about Emily. When Mum woke me this morning, she commented on the smile on my face and I remember feeling more rested and more like my old self than I had in months. When a nurse came to help me take a shower, I sourly realized that nothing would ever actually _be_ normal again and my mood fell dark once more. It's not that I couldn't shower on my own. I was weak and had an annoying morphine drip attached to my elbow joint, which needed to be taken out before showering, but I was still fit enough to stand on my own two feet for ten minutes. It was a safety precaution and there was that one time during chemo when I had fainted while showering at home, so it's not like I didn't understand the need for it. But I felt so empowered today, more alive than I had for the longest time and having some stranger, regardless of how nice she was about it, wash your hair and scrub your back with a sponge, felt humiliating. I insisted on it being a solo mission to put on the fresh set of hospital clothes and shuffled the nurse out of the bathroom.

"Fucking babying me, I have _some _dignity left…", I muttered as I pulled the shirt over my head.

"Naomi, Sweetie?" Mum called gently through the bathroom door. She was using that silky smooth tone which was an indicator of the presence of strangers. My heart leapt at the thought of Emily possibly being such a stranger and I hurriedly put on the rest of the clothes, pausing to briefly check my reflection in the mirror and regretting it instantly. My cheeks were sunken and pale, my eyes tired and surrounded by reddish eyelids. My hair was unruly and very short, having only started to grow back after the latest chemotherapy cycle and was sprouting out at different speeds it seemed. I sighed. _Well, at least I smell nice today. _

I opened the door and was met by Mum's beaming, tear-soaked face. Her hands were clasped in front of her mouth and I could see she was about to burst out in tears. I stepped out into the room and saw a familiar but surprising face standing by the bed, staring back at me.

"Cook!" I gasped and felt my knees buckle. He noticed too and rushed to my side, catching me in his arms as I fell to the floor. I lost my hold on the world and cried relentlessly as he held me tight and lifted me from the floor like a child. He held me for a while in his strong arms, before starting to cry himself and losing his grip on me. He gently put me down on the bed but never let go and we cried for a while like that. Mum was sniffling behind us and in the end couldn't contain herself and joined in on the embrace. I'm not sure why I cried or why I almost passed out at the sight of him. I had been worried sick since we hadn't been able to get hold of him for months and loving someone who is risking his life every day in a warzone pulls tricks on your mind. I had imagined him being shot, torn apart by a mine or blown to pieces by a grenade. Neither of it had happened, as I made sure to check his limbs for any plastic components while embracing him. We finally pulled apart and Mum handed us all handkerchiefs.

Cook was sitting on my bed and kept drying fresh tears from his cheeks. Somehow they kept coming every time he tried to open his mouth. I reached out and dried some of them off his cheek. "It's okay, it's okay", I repeated reassuringly, rubbing his rough cheek gently. He shook his head and grabbed both my hands, clutching them.

"It's not fair," he declared angrily, tightening his grip on my hands and clutching his jaw. "The world is fucked up, everything is fucked up!" He looked up at me, breaking my heart with an expression of total and utter despair. Tears started running down my face again. He pulled my hands up to his lips and placed hard kisses on them before pulling me in for another embrace and sobbing hard against my shoulder. Mum couldn't take it and almost ran out of the room, leaving me alone to deal with breaking my best friend's heart. We sat like that for a while, locked in an embrace, crying tears that had had three months to build up. Cook finally stopped crying and released me from his grip. He wiped his nose with the back of his hand and got up from his sitting position on the bed. Standing there, in front of me, I was surprised to see he was in uniform. I hadn't noticed before due to the whole falling-down-crying-in-each-other's-arms-thing we had been busy doing.

"Where have you been, Cook?" I finally asked and looked accusingly at him, remembering how worried and hurt I had been at his radio silence.

His expression turned serious as he shook his head, sighing despairingly. "I really, really wish I could tell you, Blondie. But I wouldn't be very good at my job if I did." He walked to my nightstand, filled a glass of water and handed it to me before drinking one himself. Crying does leave you parched and I gulped down the water eagerly. He sat down on the bed again and took my hands. "What I can tell you is that I took leave as soon as I heard your first message. I was on a transport a few hours later and I came straight here." He nodded towards the door where I saw his large, green army duffle-bag lying on the floor. "See?", he smiled.

"But it's been three months, Cook. Three months I've been sick, three months where you should have been here, fucking holding my hand or whatever…", I started crying and lost my voice. I looked away and pulled my hands free. I knew it wasn't his fault but I had really needed him and he couldn't even be bothered to pick up the phone.

"Naomikins", he pleaded, moving closer and grabbing hold of my hands again. I fought him but not wholeheartedly, not that there was much point in doing so anyway, him being a soldier and all. He held both of my hands firmly with just one of his, the other moving to my chin, tilting my head towards his. He looked me straight in the eye, his pain and guilt evident. "I will never, ever forgive myself", he whispered and I saw tears forming in his eyes again. I bit my lip and simply nodded at his confession. I wasn't angry with him, in fact I was thankful that he was safe and that he was finally here. He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on my forehead and another on my lips, lingering briefly.

**Emily's POV**

When I arrived at Naomi's room, the door was open and the room was lit. I stopped and took a few deep breaths and put on a professional smile that I prayed would stay put once she set her eyes on me. It didn't though, as I stepped through the door and saw a young man in a green, camouflage-looking uniform place a tender kiss on Naomi's lips. The moment was beautiful really and it was obviously very private and intense and I felt horrible for interrupting it. Or perhaps I just felt horrible seeing someone kissing Naomi and gazing lovingly at her, I'm not sure which. As the young soldier pulled away, he rested his forehead against hers and whispered something. She smiled, answering him and I felt like screaming. However noble my intentions had been for paying her a visit today, they vanished from my mind the minute I stepped through the door.

I had convinced myself on the way here that my infatuation with her was a mixture of empathy and admiration. There was nothing sexual about it and I was actually looking forward to going home and seeing Jeremy. I was going to apologize to him for being selfish and suggest we spend the evening in bed, because honestly, it had been a while. However, when Naomi noticed me standing in the doorway and quickly composed herself, smiling warmly at me, every thought of Jeremy and a bed faded from my mind.

The soldier got to his feet and took a step back from the bed, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. He regarded me curiously and glanced questioningly at Naomi, a small smirk forming on his face. Naomi rolled her eyes at him and nodded towards me.

"Cook, this is Emily, one of the people responsible for this trial I'm in." She turned to look at me, her entrancing eyes locking with mine, momentarily causing the room to spin. "Emily, this is Cook, soldier extraordinaire." She said the last part while waving her hand in the air dramatically.

I regained my composure and forced myself to put on a smile as I walked towards Cook who met me halfway, his hand outstretched. I felt animosity build up inside me as I recognized the appreciative look in Cook's eyes revealing that he found me attractive. _His amazing girlfriend is fucking lying there, dying, and he has the audacity to check me out?! _I gritted my teeth slightly as I let go of his hand. He turned and walked back towards Naomi's bed and sat down in the lounger.

"So", he said and clasped his hands together, "can somebody please explain this whole trial-thing then?" He looked expectantly at me and I felt slightly less annoyed with him. It was after all, a fair question but I was a little perplexed as to why he didn't already know about it. I noticed a green duffle-bag on the floor and gathered that he had been away and hadn't been in touch during the last week. Naomi smiled lovingly at him again and I literally felt bile rising in my throat. _Jesus, Emily, stop it! _

Once at an office party, one of Jeremy's coworkers had kissed him while they were dancing. I was standing by the bar and saw the whole thing. The woman was drunk and apparently fancied him and simply couldn't contain herself. I remember feeling hurt and embarrassed and Jeremy quickly ended the kiss and ran to me, apologizing. He had spent a lot of time after that making it up to me but he really didn't have to. I trusted him and wasn't jealous of the woman at all. I had understood what had happened wasn't Jeremy's fault and was only hurt momentarily. Now however, looking at this Cook-fellow I was boiling over with jealousy and every time Naomi smiled lovingly at him, it felt like a punch to the gut, leaving me winded each time. I forced another smile and pulled up a chair to sit on the opposite side of Naomi's bed. I cleared my throat.

"How well are you acquainted with the details of Naomi's disease or with NETs in general?", I asked arrogantly, regretting it immediately. I hated when doctors were patronizing and treated patients like inferior beings and the only reason I was acting this way was my irrational jealousy, making it even less appropriate. Cook looked questioningly at me and then at Naomi, who turned to regard me with an expression I hadn't seen before. The best way to describe it would be hostility.

I shook my head and held out my hands in apology. "That came out all wrong, sorry." I took a deep breath and relied on the scientist in me to take control of the situation and, therefore, of my jealousy. "You are aware that Naomi has pancreatic cancer and that in her case, it is a neuroendocrine cancer, yes?" Cook leaned forward in the lounger and shook his head. _Jesus, he's thick!  
><em>

"Well, now you know then", I said and tried my best to smile warmly at him. Naomi's hostile look disappeared and she shifted to find a more comfortable position in the bed. I noticed her grimace and realized she wasn't attached to the morphine pump at the moment. I reached out and pressed the button next to the bed, calling for a nurse before continuing. "NET stands for neuroendocrine tumor and it is a tricky cancer. Most of the time, the patients feel fine and symptoms don't occur until the disease is disseminated." They both regarded me with a curious look and I smiled. "I mean metastasized. The primary tumors usually grow very slowly and therefore don't show up in standard scans which look for fast-growing cells. And the endocrine function is typically unaffected, again resulting in a symptom-free disease." A nurse came in and greeted us and I pointed to the morphine pump. She quickly inserted a new catheter in Naomi's elbow joint and connected it to the machine before leaving us again. Cook and Naomi were looking at me expectantly and I continued.

"So when Naomi starting having stomach pain and was exhausted all the time, the disease had already spread to her lymph nodes and liver." It broke my heart to say it out loud, despite having gone through her medical history over and over again. Cook reached out and took Naomi's hand reassuringly and for the first time since seeing him, I didn't mind his presence. Horrified, I suddenly realized that I had just revealed confidential details regarding Naomi's medical history without first asking her approval. Naomi must have read my mind or noticed my horrified expression as I abruptly stopped my account.

"It's okay", she said and smiled, "he's family."

As reassuring as it was to hear that I hadn't just broken another of the primary ethical laws of medicine, it was also another punch to the gut to hear her describe Cook as 'family'. I swallowed my jealousy once again.

"Right." I leaned forward in my chair and tried to find the proper words to explain the next part without sounding cynical or apathetic. "Chemo didn't work for Naomi's tumors and in all honesty, even it if had; it would never have cured her, only allowed her more time and hopefully a better quality of life." I noticed Cook give Naomi's hand a little squeeze and once again felt grateful that someone was there to hold her hand. "What we want to do is deliver high doses of radioactivity to the tumors while at the same time treating them with a new, radiosensitizing drug." I was getting excited but I realized I had lost Cook, who had a concerned look on his face. I decided to simplify it a little.

"Basically, we want to make the cancer cells more susceptible to radiation and subsequently kill them using hy injecting high doses of radioactivity."

"I wore a dosimeter in Afghanistan", Cook commented, a concerned look on his face. "Radiation can kill you. How can you be sure you won't kill her in the process?"

I was gawking at him, having apparently misjudged him. I had taken him for an inconsiderate jarhead and instead he had proven to be very attentive towards Naomi and had immediately cut to the chase in regard to the problems of the trial. It was an intelligent question and it was in fact partly the reason why we were still only doing clinical trials instead of using this as a standardized treatment. Naomi noticed my shocked expression and was practically beaming with pride at Cook's seemingly awesome question.

I pulled myself together, collecting my jaw from the floor. "True", I nodded, "radiation can kill you. Which is why we are being very careful", I said reassuringly. "We are using radioimmuno-targeting to deliver the radiation but this has been done in several countries for years in regard to NETs, so there is nothing really new there", I explained. Naomi pulled her hand from Cook's and shifted in her bed to lie on her side, facing me. Her piercing eyes locked with mine and the room spun a few times before I was able to collect myself. I didn't break eye contact as I continued.

"It's the radiosensitizer that represents the novel element. If we succeed in delivering it to your tumors, the effect of the radiation should increase dramatically and double at best. Your tumors should shrink without causing damage to the rest of your body, meaning no real side effects." I finished my speech, my full focus set on Naomi and her mesmerizing gaze. I felt that uncanny pull again and unconsciously moved closer, leaning toward her. Her eyes expressed a mixture of excitement and fascination and I wondered at her ability to express such things merely using her eyes. They really were spectacular.

"Wow", Cook exclaimed from the other side of the bed, startling me since I had completely forgotten about him the minute Naomi's eyes locked onto mine.

"Yeah, wow." I nodded in happy agreement, unsure of whether I was talking about the clinical trial or Naomi's eyes.

**COOK! I love Cook and Naomi's friendship and it will probably always feature in my Naomily fanfic's somehow... (reference; see "Uncovering the past" for more Cook/Naomi-interaction). But now onto more interaction of the Naomily-kind…**

**Let me know if the science killed the story or if you want more! 'Cause I've got plenty to give! **


	5. Chapter 5 - A Friendly Wave

**A/N – This story is taking its toll on me. When I wrote Naomi's reunion with Cook, I couldn't stop crying. It took me a couple of days to gather my wits… **

**I am truly thankful for all of the reviews, follows and fav's of this story! You guys rock and make me keep going, tears and all! **

**Skins is not my invention.. **

**Chapter 5.**

**Gina's POV**

Seeing Cook again had brought back so much hurt and heartbreak. I was trying to be strong, trying to be the adult and the pillar of support they both so desperately needed. But it was impossible. Cook was practically my adopted son and seeing his heart break into pieces when he laid eyes on Naomi was enough to break my own heart all over again. I was relieved to see him and even though I was curious as to why he had been under the radar for so long, I didn't push the issue. I knew him and knew that had he known of Naomi's situation, he would have deserted rather than let anyone keep him away. So I had cried new tears, for him and his heartbreak and for my daughter's. I had none left for my own anymore.

I decided to give them some time to reconnect and luckily, that gave me time to repeat my mantra and gather my wits. I went to grab some tea and returned to Naomi's room after an hour or so. Emily, the researcher, was visiting again, which was odd given it was a Saturday. She seemed to be holding court and was explaining something to both Cook and Naomi and I stood in the doorway for a while, listening to her talk. Surprisingly, her explanation about the trial made a lot of sense, even to me, and I had given up all hope of understanding it days ago. I was worried about the whole thing, naturally. I wanted as much time with my daughter as I could possibly get. Whether or not this trial was going to give me more time, was unknown but I needed to at least be certain that it wasn't going to give me _less_ time. Seeing her now, lying on her side watching Emily speak, I couldn't believe that I only had a few months left with her. She looked so happy, like she had this morning, less exhausted and her eyes were almost glowing.

I knew my daughter. Had this been a couple of years ago, I wouldn't have put two and two together, but I could now. Emily was beautiful and it didn't take more than half a brain to figure out that she had a good heart and quite a head on her shoulders. Seeing the way Naomi was watching her attentively, I knew where this was headed. And it wasn't headed to a good place. Unreciprocated infatuation and the heartbreak it would undoubtedly lead to were additional evils that would only add to Naomi's burdens. I needed to protect her from this but looking at Naomi beaming at Emily, I knew that it was already too late to talk some sense into her. But then again, perhaps Emily wasn't going to cause my daughter more heartbreak. After all, she hadn't been to visit until yesterday and now she was here again and on the weekend no less. She had left in a flustered hurry last night and I had seen the look Naomi was throwing her as she left. I needed to ask her about it and soon, so that I would know whether to put a stop to Emily's new found habit of private visits or not. For now, gaining a new friend, one who could ease the transition into the trial no less, was perhaps not such a bad idea, especially if she could explain things in layman's terms like she had just illustrated.

The room fell quiet as Emily finished up her lecture and stared into the eyes of my beautiful daughter. Their staring contest only confirmed my suspicion that Emily in fact had taken a personal interest in my daughter. I didn't want to impose but Cook noticed me standing in the doorway. He smiled, got up from the lounger and beckoned that I come in and take his seat. _Always the gentleman these days._ His army adventures had really, really done him good. I walked in, smiling and accepted his chair. He took a seat in Naomi's bed by her feet and swung his legs up.

She shifted to a sitting position, seemingly appalled. "Cook! You know I'm ecstatic to see you but I don't want your dirty boots in my bed, thanks", Naomi complained and tried to push his feet down. Her being weak and his boots being gigantic, she wasn't succeeding very well. Cook tipped his head back and laughed and I realized how much I had missed hearing his goofy, endearing laugh. Naomi gave up trying to push his feet away and giggled, "well could you at least take them off?"

"Trust me, Blondie, you don't want me to do that…" Cook winked at Naomi and she rolled her eyes at him.

"Have you heard of a shower?", Naomi asked in her teasing, sarcastic tone.

He paused and appeared to be in deep thought before answering, "heard of, yes, seen one lately, nope!" He beamed at my daughter and she grinned back, sticking her tongue out at him like a child. Come to think of it, Cook did look quite dirty and above all, exhausted. My motherly instincts took charge as I determinedly got to my feet.

"Right then", I exclaimed as I rose, "Cook, you are coming with me to Naomi's flat for a shower and a nap." I retrieved my jacket from the hanger and motioned for him to get up.

His goofy expression immediately turned serious as he shook his head, "no, I don't need sleep", he said and shot a desperate look Naomi's way, "I'll have time for that later." The mood changed in the room and I noticed Emily, who had been keeping quiet throughout their little banter-session, bite her lip and look away. Cook turned to me, his face lighting up suddenly, "I could kill for a cheeseburger though!"

"A shower and a cheeseburger it is", I nodded and smiled warmly, "Emily?" The young woman turned her head towards me, a surprised, questioning look on her face. "Would you like something too? Or are you leaving soon?" There was more than one reason why I wanted to know if she intended on staying. Firstly, I didn't want to leave Naomi here by herself, even for a few short hours and secondly, I needed to protect my daughter from the unnecessary harm caused by heartache. If Emily stayed, it hopefully meant that she wasn't only trying to be nice to her patient but that she had taken a liking to my daughter. Seeing the hopeful expression on Naomi's face at my asking Emily, I knew which of the two Naomi was gunning for.

Emily didn't hesitate before enthusiastically replying, "no onions!"

**Naomi's POV**

Cook followed Mum towards the door but stopped as he was about to pick up his duffle-bag. He turned abruptly and walked back to me, an odd look on his face. He hesitated before leaning over me and planting a hard, lingering kiss on my lips, taking me by surprise. "Fuck you", he whispered hoarsely and tried to smile. It came off as more of a grimace though, and the pain he was trying so badly to hide from me, shone through.

I reached out and placed a hand on his cheek, looking straight into his pain struck blue eyes, "fuck you right back", I whispered for the second time today. He rested his forehead against mine for a few seconds before pulling away, as if satisfied that I wouldn't leave him right this minute. He gave Emily a small smile before picking up his bag and following Mum out of the room. I stared at the door for a while, lost in thought and emotion. Seeing Cook had been emotionally exhausting but despite the tears and heartbreak, I was still happier than I had been in weeks. I'm not sure how much time had passed while I was staring into the empty space before the door and I didn't snap out of my haze until Emily suddenly rose from her chair. I shook my head once and pinched the bridge of my nose with two fingers, essentially collecting my thoughts. Letting go of the emotional turmoil unfortunately also made me aware of my increasing physical discomfort. The morphine pump was regulated after my pain pattern, resulting in a low dose during midday which was essentially why I was in pain at the moment.

I looked up and saw Emily remove her jacket and hanging it on the coatrack by the door. She stood for a while with her back to me, staring down at the floor with her shoulders slightly slumped. She was wearing a tight, purple and black top which accentuated her slim waistline, tight stomach and perfect shoulders. I was busy smiling to myself and admiring her perfect little backside when she turned around to face me. My smile however, disappeared at the look on Emily's face.

She bore a pained expression, full of shame and grief and perhaps a hint of anger. I regarded her curiously, not really understanding where this was coming from. I had been enjoying her company or rather; I had had a good, albeit exhausting day so far and she had been part of it. I watched her curiously as she started to pace back and forth in front of my bed.

"I am such a complete and utter idiot!" I was unsure of whether she was talking to me or simply herself. Regardless, I shook my head at her statement because in my eyes, Emily was most definitely not an idiot. She lifted her hands to her head, digging them into her dark hair, still pacing.

"How are you an idiot?", I asked cautiously.

She stopped pacing and walked to stand next to me. Up close, I was surprise to notice that she wasn't wearing any makeup. I tried to remember whether or not she was actually wearing makeup yesterday but all that sprung to mind was the memory of her soft touch and tender kiss and not whether or not her face sported mascara at the time. I let it go and turned my attention back to her.

"Because I broke the rules! Not only my own but the rules of fucking medicine!" She sighed deeply, closing her eyes to calm herself and gather strength. "I came to apologize to you for behaving unprofessionally last night. I have honestly never done anything like that before, least of all with a patient for fucks sake." Emily paused and locked eyes with me, needing me to see her honesty. "I don't know what came over me and I truly am sorry. It was completely inappropriate of me."

I was aware of the fact that she was talking about abruptly kissing me but the last thing I wanted to hear, was an apology for that. A kiss from a beautiful woman wasn't an everyday event for me at the moment and the beautiful woman definitely didn't need to apologize for making my heart race at the welcomed touch of her lips. Emily, however, was obviously feeling the need for some sort of confirmation that she hadn't made a fool of herself. I nodded and looked overly pensive. "Well, you did make a lasting first impression", I agreed but frowned as I continued, "but I'm not sure 79-year old Kenneth would survive it, so maybe you should tone it down a notch?" I smiled teasingly at her. "Might I suggest turning the kiss into a handshake? Or perhaps a friendly wave?" I waved my hand in front of her face to emulate said gesture.

Emily gawked at me for a moment before quickly picking up on my teasing tone, shooting me a sly smile and punching me lightly on the leg. The pained, shameful expression had disappeared from her gorgeous face as she relaxed and giggled lightly. The giggle transformed to a beautiful smile and my stomach once again fluttered but a sudden rush of pain put an end to that quickly. Attentive as ever, Emily noticed me grimace and took a step closer, eager to help.

"Is the pain bad today?" Her dazzling smile had been replaced by a concerned look and I cursed my disease a little extra.

I shook my head, "it's fine." But it really wasn't as another blast ripped through my abdomen. I gritted my teeth and my palms curled up into fists. The room started to spin and I felt soft, yet strong hands grab hold of my shoulders, easing me down onto my back. Emily waited patiently for me to regain focus before rearranging my pillows, making sure I was comfortable. I smiled in earnest thanks and was rewarded with another amazing smile before Emily gestured to the side of the bed, "do you mind?"

"Funny, I don't recall you bothering to ask me that last night…", I managed to say, teasingly, despite still being in pain. Emily looked horrified for a second before grinning back. "Too soon?"

She simply beamed at me before settling in at the foot of my bed, much like Cook had some time ago. She kicked off her shoes and bent a leg up under the other, resting her back against the railing of the bed. She let out a short, cynical laugh, shaking her head. "I'm usually quite shy around strangers, would you believe that? I was always the quiet twin, you know - had my head in the books while my sister had hers in the clouds."

"And now?" Emily wasn't following, so I elaborated, "does she still have her head in the clouds, your sister?", I asked, horrified at how slurred my speech suddenly was. The early afternoon morphine was starting to seep in and it was making me drowsy, but thankfully also painless.

"Oh no, Katie is all business these days. She runs a design company with her friend, Effy." Emily was absolutely adorable right now, sitting in my bed, by my feet, relaxed and talkative. "They do costume and set design for theaters, they are brilliant and we are all very proud..."

I was exhausted and didn't really have the energy to keep up any decent conversational skills but Emily did her best to entertain me. She talked about her family, which consisted of, aside from her twin, a younger brother who studied engineering here in London and her parents who still resided in Bristol where she grew up. She mentioned how James had turned up at her sister's at 8 a.m. this morning, drunk as a horse, simply to eat leftovers. While she was describing James, I noticed an overbearing smile on her face as she reminisced about his childhood obsession with the female anatomy. She told me about her sister's business and how much she admired this Effy-person for her ability to create beautiful things. Me, I silently thanked Emily's parents back in Bristol for creating the beautiful thing that was currently sitting in my bed, her arm carelessly draped across my legs as she continued to tell me her life's story.

**I cut this chapter a little short because I realized I wouldn't have space in the 3000 words I try and keep each chapter to, to tell the full story of what happened Saturday… I desperately want to tell Naomily's epic story but I want to do it right, so please don't lose patience with me for slowing things down a bit in this chapter!**

**As always, keep sending those motivational reviews my way! They bring a smile to my face :) **


	6. Chapter 6 - A Lasting Impression

**A/N – Here it is, the second part of Saturday afternoon/evening. I am so happy you are being patient with me and sticking with the story! There is a little Naomily interaction in this chapter and we get a slight look into how brilliant Emily actually is…**

**Skins is surprisingly still not my invention…**

**Chapter 6. A Lasting Impression**

**Emily's POV**

Despite having eaten a handful of pasta with James in the early hours of the morning, I was starving. The headache I had woken up with had disappeared but I felt a desperate need for something salty and fatty, so when Gina and Cook returned a few hours later carrying bags from the diner around the corner, my mouth started to water. I was still sitting in Naomi's bed but she has dozed off about half an hour ago. The morphine pump was keeping her pain to a minimum but occasionally, it would cause her to rest her eyes for a while. I had entertained her to the best of my ability, which hadn't really been all that hard. I usually wasn't this relaxed around people aside from my siblings, Jeremy perhaps Effy. She and Katie had been friends since college, despite them fighting over the same boy for the better part of a year. I had told Naomi all of this, along with the story of how I ended up in London and where I grew up. The past half hour had given me some time for quiet reflection but I had found that I didn't really need to reflect all that much. I had come to apologize, which had apparently been unnecessary. I had come to do damage control, of which there seemed to be no need. Naomi had taken everything with a teasing smile and grudgingly, I had come to the conclusion that her good-natured mood probably had something to do with the return of her boyfriend. She had mentioned that he had been out of contact for three months and was unaware of her illness until now. It had broken my heart and had resulted in tears streaming down both our faces. I felt horrible for feeling jealous of Cook, who honestly seemed like a fantastic guy. They obviously loved each other dearly and Gina seemed to as well. Not that my mother didn't like Jeremy, she adored him in fact, but it was nowhere near Gina's affection for Cook.

As they entered, I put a finger to my lips, indicating they used hushed voices. Cook looked worried for a second and hurriedly walked to the bed. He had changed out of the uniform and seemed different in regular clothes, younger somehow. I had pegged him to be older than me, perhaps closer to thirty than twenty-five but in a pair of khakis and a blue shirt that matched his eyes, he seemed more like a teenager than a man.

Seeing Naomi sleeping peacefully seemed to calm him and he shot me a genuine smile. "She beautiful, isn't she?", he whispered, tilting his head toward me without taking his eyes off her. The punch to my stomach was painfully hard this time as his comment had caught me off guard. Having the wind knocked out of me, all I could manage was to simply nod in honest agreement. Cook reached out to touch her cheek but thought better of it as she shifted, opening her piercing blue eyes.

"Jesus Christ, can't a girl take a nap without waking up to three perverts ogling her?" She sat up, Cook assisting her with an arm, receiving a thankful smile as he did. He took a seat in the lounger and I swung my legs back over the side of the bed, getting out. Naomi gently touched my leg, indicating I should stay put. I felt her warm hand linger and was amazed at how such a simple touch could cause bursts of energy to course through me. I managed to smile without blushing and settled back down in the bed. Gina handed me a bag and I dove into the most divine cheeseburger I had ever had. Whether it was actually _that_ good a burger or simply the lingering sensation of Naomi's hand on my leg and getting to spend the better part of the day in her proximity, I didn't know and couldn't care less.

**Naomi's POV**

She knew I didn't have much of a taste for food these days but Mum had still bought a burger and some fries for me. I managed about a third of it all before handing it over to a delighted Cook. I suppose he hadn't seen the best cuisine lately, canned army foods and all, so for once I felt happy about my lack of appetite. He looked like a kid in a candy store when I handed it over to him, ketchup and grease stuck to his cheeks because he was so busy stuffing his face that he couldn't be bothered with a napkin. I couldn't help but smile affectionately. _God, how I've missed him! _

I turned to my side, watching my three odd companions finish their food. Mum had pulled up a chair and small table next to Cook's lounger and Emily was thankfully still planted at the foot of my bed, the bag of food resting in her lap. She finished her fries and rolled the empty bag up in a ball, turned sideways to face the door and surprised me by throwing the ball of paper in a perfect bow into the wastebasket. She surprised me even more by celebrating the successful throw with a goofy grin, receiving an appreciative high-five from Cook in the process. There wasn't much sign of the brilliant, serious scientist I thought her to be but it really didn't matter. I was happy at this Emily as well, a more relaxed, human version somehow. Not that she had ever appeared cold, quite the contrary, but this was something different. She seemed younger, more like my age than she had during our first meeting or even than she had yesterday. The tight, bright purple top of course also gave a younger impression than the more professional white shirt and grey cardigan she had worn last night. Suddenly, something occurred to me.

"How old are you?", I asked, looking curiously at Emily. No one had said more than a few words since Mum and Cook showed up, food in hand. Not that the atmosphere was awkward, we had simply been busy using our mouths to eat. So when I spoke, everyone stopped what they were doing and regarded me with curiosity. Emily blushed slightly and Cook eventually let out a laugh. "What?", I asked, a little bewildered.

"Naomikins, you of all people should know that most women take offense to that!"

Realizing that my question was perhaps a bit rude, I felt stupid and a bit worried that Emily might actually have taken it the wrong way. "No, I didn't mean it like that…", I started, giving her an apologetic smile, "I meant, you have a PhD, which means what, at least eight years of education after college?" Emily nodded at my estimate. "But you don't seem like you are any closer to thirty than me and Cook, so I was honestly trying to work out how everything fit together", I explained, shrugging.

"So I should take it as a compliment then?", Emily smiled slyly as she pulled both of her legs up into the bed, sitting cross-legged, her right knee resting against my lower leg.

"Exactly", I smiled and shifted slightly so that more of my leg was in contact with hers. She didn't shy away and instead moved her right hand down to rest on the bed, effectively resting her palm against my leg. I wasn't sure it was an intentional touch until she started moving her thumb in a gentle caress. Mum and Cook were sitting on the opposite side of my bed and her caress was therefore completely hidden from them. Emily herself seemed completely at ease with it, acting as if she wasn't attentively caressing the leg of her study subject while sitting in said subject's hospital bed. _Not that I'm complaining…_

"Alright, well, there is a boring and very short answer to your question and then there is a slightly less boring, more elaborate one." She smiled warmly at me and in combination with the innocent caress of my leg, I felt heat rising in my cheeks. "Short answer is that I'm 24." Emily smiled to herself as she continued, "the elaborate explanation is that I skipped a few years in pursuit of a degree and then a PhD."

Mum gawked at Emily, obviously impressed with her. "But how is that even possible?", she blurted out.

Emily turned her head and smiled warmly at Mum before turning her attention back to me. Her hand however, never left my leg and never stopped its sweet caress. "I graduated college at 18, did a bachelor's in only two years, a Master's in about 15 months instead of two full years and was accepted by Kieran as a PhD on the same day I received my Master's degree." She smiled and shrugged indifferently, like it was no big deal, "three years later, I am officially a PhD and voila, here I sit."

This time, we all gawked at her, eyes as big as saucers and jaws dropping to the floor or, in my case, mattress.

**Emily's POV**

Having told this story before, I was fully aware that it sounded impressive. If I was being honest, I wasn't even telling them the whole story because truthfully, people tended to find me conceited or arrogant and on one particular occasion, a freak of nature.

Naomi was the first to gather her wits. "You really weren't kidding when you said you had your head in the books, were you?"

I shrugged and felt a little uncomfortable, like I always do in this situation. That was one of the things I always appreciated about Jeremy. He understood my passion and determination and never stood in my way when I was doing a double course-load. _Shit! Jeremy! _I looked at my watch in panic. _Half past three, fuck! _Jeremy would have been home for hours now and wondering where I was. I had left my phone in my purse by the coatrack and since it was permanently on sleep mode, it hadn't even vibrated. I realized I would have to get up and go get it but I was unwilling to actually do so. When I had felt Naomi shift and move closer, I had immediately forgotten all about acting professionally and reached out to feel even closer to her. It was like I just couldn't help myself when around her. The undeniable pull was ever present, regardless of whether she was awake, sleeping or being kissed adoringly by her soldier boyfriend. Although, experiencing the latter didn't technically pull me towards her, as much as make me want to pull him off her. He seemed like a wonderful guy and I believed Naomi to be better off with him here, but the mere thought of Cook's lips on hers made my stomach turn. _I think the ship has sailed on acting professionally… _

I decided I could stay put a little longer before getting up and fetching my phone. My crossed legs were starting to feel a bit numb though, so I had to stretch them for a minute. I reluctantly had to move my hand off Naomi's leg and as I did, I noticed a dispirited expression momentarily cross her face. She shifted to a sitting position, her legs slightly bent before her. I took advantage of the increased space and stretched my legs out, my feet hidden from Cook and Gina's sights behind Naomi's comforter. I sighed as normal circulation was restored and when Naomi's hand moved to lie on my outstretched legs, all thoughts of Jeremy or my phone once again vanished from my mind.

**Naomi's POV**

It almost felt like a normal afternoon, sitting around laughing, telling stories with a couple of friends while Mum provided snacks and drinks. When the room grew dark as the sun disappeared behind the neighboring building, Cook slid further and further down in the lounger before finally falling asleep. Mum told us that he had been awake for almost two days before finally arriving here but he had insisted on coming back to the hospital after showering and changing. 'Plenty of time for rest later', he kept repeating to Mum. We let him sleep for about an hour before Mum decided this was an undignified way to spend his first night back in the country, so she woke him up and took him back to my flat. He planted a soft kiss on my cheek before heading out. Mum would be back in an hour or so and had made sure Emily would stay with me until she returned. I complained a little about being babied but truthfully, I was quietly thanking her for guaranteeing me more time with Emily.

Evenings were the worst for me, both in terms of pain and in mindset. Before you fall asleep, a thousand different scenes are played out before your inner eye and a million thoughts cross your mind. This doesn't change when you become terminally ill but you can imagine the nature and origin of these thoughts are a bit different than you're used to. Every night before falling asleep, the faces of my loved ones and at times of people I didn't even like very much, flashed before my eyes, causing ripples of intense physical pain that had nothing to do with cancer. I would fall asleep thinking about trivial, everyday things I would never experience again and then feel guilty for pitying myself. The very last thing on my mind before finally drifting off was always either Mum or Cook. The only exception to this pattern had been last night, as the exquisite creature presently lounging on my bed had been the sole occupant of my tired mind.

The pain of sitting was becoming unbearable and I had to lie down, despite knowing that once I did, Emily wouldn't fit in the bed in her current position. I sighed and motioned that I needed to move and to utilize the space she was presently occupying. Emily practically jumped out of the bed and in a flash was helping me fix my pillows so I would be at ease lying on my side. As always, I was most comfortable lying on my right side, my back to the door. Emily went around the room and turned off all the lights, leaving only the light coming through the cracked door to the hallway. It was still early but I was exhausted. I had slept well last night but since it had been an eventful day, I hadn't taken my two-hour nap during the afternoon and the added weariness was really starting to present itself.

"Do you need anything?", Emily softly asked as she returned to my bedside.

I hesitated for a moment, wondering if it was really worth it to be bold but as Emily locked her incredible, dark eyes with mine, I realized there was every reason to be. I moved backwards and patted the empty space in front of me. There wasn't enough light in the room for me to see Emily's face clearly, so all I could do was hold my breath and wait for her to either take a seat in the lounger or crawl into bed with me. After what seemed like an eternity, I felt the mattress give a little at the added weight and I finally exhaled.

Emily's head rested on my pillow, her gorgeous face so close I could feel her breath against my skin. The bed wasn't tiny but I noticed that she kind of was. My legs were curled up slightly but she was lying more or less fully stretched out and still, our feet were level. I relaxed a little and stuffed my hands between the pillow and my cheek, effectively holding my tired head in place. Emily copied my position but left one hand free, resting it on the empty space on the mattress between us. I studied her exquisite face in the scarce light coming from the hallway and noticed how her dark eyes seemed to sparkle as she locked them with mine. I felt the unrelenting army of butterflies take off inside and my heart pounded loudly in my ears. Emily's gaze fell to my lips, only to drift along my chin and cheek, essentially caressing my face before settling back to my eyes. The expression in her eyes changed as she lifted her hand from the mattress and gently ran it through my short, unruly hair. I tensed at the caress, not because it was unpleasant but because I hadn't allowed anyone to touch my hair since it first fell off. She noticed but didn't move her hand away. Instead, she ran it through my hair again and continued down the back of my neck, effectually sending shivers down my spine.

"You're beautiful…", she whispered, her hand still caressing the short hair at the back of my neck. The look on Emily's face was almost haunted. Her eyes were filled with ambivalence; one part pure awe, the other absolute horror. I once again held my breath as she lifted her head from the pillow and slowly leaned towards me.

"Emily?", a male voice called from behind me.

**Now, I'm guessing you might have guessed who that man could be! I think the next chapter is going to be fun to write!**

**Sound off in a review if you feel like giving me some feedback or motivation! Because honestly, every time I get one, or a follow or fav, I want to run to the computer and lock myself away and just write…**


	7. Chapter 7 - Confrontation

**A/N – Thank you all for sticking with me and for giving me such awesome feedback! I hope you continue to enjoy the story :)**

**It's all Emily in this chapter, not having the best night of her life…**

**Chapter 7. Confrontation**

**Emily's POV**

He hadn't uttered a word on the drive home. At first, I wasn't even sure he had seen anything, aside from me sharing a bed with a patient in a dark room. Yeah, that's not suspicious at all but Naomi was, after all, a young woman and there was no reason for Jeremy to think anything was going on. _Nothing _is _going on, Emily! _I decided to check my phone once I realized we weren't going to be spending the ride home discussing Jeremy's trip or my week. Ten unanswered calls from him, four from Katie, two from Effy and one from James and several increasingly angry or worried messages from the lot of them. Well, James wasn't all that worried and just wanted to know if I was still up for a pizza tomorrow night, my treat, as usual. I answered all of them, telling them I had been caught up at work and to James that we of course were on for our regular Sunday Night-sibling pizza. I glanced at Jeremy but his face was unreadable and he seemed keen on focusing on his driving. I knew he was angry, even if he had been all smiles and polite towards Naomi. I just wasn't sure where his anger stemmed from – being out of reach for the entire day or for finding me in bed with Naomi. I sighed and turned my head to aimlessly stare out at the buildings and cars as they flashed by.

_I had practically fallen out of her bed at the sound of his voice. There was a hint of fear mixed in with the concern but as soon as I saw his face, I saw only anger emanating. I busied myself by fixing my top and ran a hand through my hair as I walked to greet him, glancing guiltily in Naomi's direction. The door was wide open and letting enough light in to illuminate the room. Jeremy still had his hand on the doorknob and I could see him clutching it, his knuckles white. In a foolish attempt at acting normal and casual, I stood on my toes and gave him a peck on the cheek as I reached him. _

"_Hi babe", I said and forced what I thought emulated a legitimate smile. "What are you doing here?" Of course I was fully aware of why he was here and was cursing myself for not paying more attention to the time or to my phone. I saw him struggle with emotion before letting go of the doorknob. _

"_You had us worried." He sent Naomi an acknowledging smile but there was no warmth in it. "I figured you would be either at the lab or here somewhere." _

_I nodded and looked up at him and was truly sad that I had been so reckless. Of course they would worry, even though I was renowned for getting caught up with work and losing track of time, it was unlike me to not be in touch for, what, 12 hours, without as much as letting someone know what I was doing. In retrospect, it was a bit suspicious of me and everything could have been avoided if I had just had the foresight of letting Jeremy know I would be working for a bit today. I suppose that was the problem though, wasn't it? Working on yet another Saturday, after having spent the past Saturday arguing about my working too much during the weekend. Furthermore, I wasn't actually planning on spending the entire day at the hospital, it just sort of played out that way. That delicious cheeseburger had really been a gift from above and feeling Naomi's hand resting on my legs had sealed the deal. _

"_Sorry about that, I lost track of time…" I leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his lips but he barely registered it. He looked down at me and clenched his jaw. I knew we were headed for a fight and I appreciated him not starting it here. We needed to go though, and quickly. I got my coat off the rack and picked up my purse and was headed back to the door where Jeremy was waiting. I was scared to look at Naomi, scared what I would see reflected in her expressive eyes. _

_Realizing that I had promised Gina to stay until she returned, I paused at the door. "Just one sec, please babe." He closed his eyes and exhaled violently but in the end, he nodded. I walked back to Naomi, who was now sitting in the bed. I knew it must have pained her to move and I felt incredibly guilty, more so than for not being in touch with my fiancée all day, causing him to worry. _

"_I'm sorry", I whispered, "do you need anything before I go?" Naomi glanced past my head at Jeremy who was standing just outside the room, waiting impatiently. I turned my head and looked back at him, smiling reassuringly and holding up a finger and mouthing 'one sec'. I turned back to Naomi and found her piercing eyes eying me, riddled with confusion and despair. I reached out and placed my hand on top of hers, making sure I was hiding it by standing in Jeremy's line of sight. She looked down at our hands, frowned and closed her eyes as she shook her head once. _

"_Don't do that…", she whispered, pained. I immediately let go of her hand and took a step back, horrified. "Just go", she said and looked away. I swallowed hard to suppress sudden tears, turned around and walked out of the room, making sure to keep my eyes pinned to the floor, hiding my misery from Jeremy._

"You wanna tell me what's going on?", Jeremy finally asked with a sneer that was highly uncharacteristic of him. We had only just closed the door to the flat behind us.

"What do you mean?", I asked, putting my keys in the bowl in the hallway, my back to him. I figured downplaying the whole thing was the best course, mostly because I wasn't sure what he was referring to.

He huffed and crossed his arms. "Really, you are going to play dumb here? Well that's just fucking great, Emily, really." He was yelling. "I come home, fucking worry myself to death about where you are and you can't be bothered to get up out of a _patients bed_ to check your messages? Really, Em? What the fuck is going on?"

_Fuck, he had seen it._ I was speechless. I had no answers for him because honestly, I didn't know them myself. I felt tears building and turned away.

Jeremy's resolved faltered when he noticed my tears, since I wasn't usually prone to them during our fights. I was a bleeding heart when it came to most things; patients, movies, good books and weddings but fighting with Jeremy had never brought tears to my eyes before. Frankly, I wasn't sure whether it was fighting with Jeremy or the fact that I was powerless to stop my world from turning upside-down. _I was going to kiss her again. I wanted to kiss her again. What the hell is wrong with me? _ I suddenly looked up at Jeremy's now worried face and felt all color drain from my own.

"I – I don't know what I'm doing, Jeremy." I looked up at him, my horror showing as I saw it mirrored in his eyes. "She's… I… Fuck." I buried my head in my hands and walked away from him, not knowing what to tell him and unable to express my own thoughts out loud. I felt confused and completely lost in my own head which was a first for me. Ever the pragmatist and there was nothing even slightly logical about this whole thing. Or, rather there was, but it scared me shitless.

Jeremy followed me into the kitchen and gently took hold of my hands, stopping them from continuing to pull strands of hair out of my head, a nervous habit of mine. He had an empathetic look in his eyes as he pulled me in for an embrace. He gently stroked my back and waited for me to calm down. Once I did, he guided me to the couch and sat down across from me, pulled up a chair and took hold of my hands. This was part of what I loved about him; his ability to set aside his own hurt in order to rationally help others. I had seen him do this many times with his sister after their mother had died. Regardless of how much pain he was in, he was always able to set it aside when he was needed. And I really, really needed him right now.

"What's her name?", he simply asked, no hint of pain or anger in his voice. It was all a charade of course, an attempt to generate a logical response from me, as opposed to the emotional one he was receiving now. Nevertheless, it was working.

"Naomi.", I sniffled a little at saying her name and felt new tears building. I bit my lip to keep them from emerging. Jeremy simply nodded to himself, as if registering the information.

"Where is she from?"

"London, but originally from Bristol, like me.", I said, surprised at the statement. Realizing that my otherwise highly perceptive brain had missed that fact previously was testament to the clouded confusion I was in when in the vicinity of Naomi.

"How long have you known her?"

"24 hours." The pragmatist in me recognized that we had in fact known _about _each other for almost a week but I hadn't really _known_ her for more than a day. Jeremy's questions had calmed me down and my brain was working again, sifting through the details with a mostly logical perspective.

Jeremy swallowed an outburst of emotion by gritting his teeth before asking the next question. "What is she like?"

I felt my face light up but was unable to stop it. "She's amazing." I smiled. "She's funny, she's intelligent. She has the most stunningly beautiful eyes and this brilliant smile…." Realizing this was not what Jeremy wanted to hear, I stopped myself from telling him about her soft skin and full lips. I looked at him and saw pain, but most of all, fear written on his face. "Jeremy, no, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that – ".

He let go of my hands and pulled away from me. I immediately started to cry, realizing that while he had set aside his own feelings to help me sort out mine, I had revealed my fascination and attraction to someone else, effectively causing him even more pain. He buried his head in his hands, rubbing his palms fiercely across his face. Like me, he was prone to rational thinking rather than emotion and he was able to calm himself somewhat down again.

"What does that mean, Emily?" He looked up at me, fear again evident in his eyes. "Did you sleep with her?"

I pulled backwards on the couch in absolute horror. "What? No! You think I would do that to you? Just jump into bed with some random girl I hardly know?" I was appalled.

"Em, that's exactly how I found you." He grimaced at the memory.

Realizing he was right, my hands flew up to hide my open mouth as my jaw dropped. I shook my head in disbelief at the realization that I had in fact deceived my fiancée. Naomi and I had only shared a single, innocent kiss but it had meant much more to me than I wanted to accept. Hiding caresses from others, including Jeremy just half an hour ago at the hospital, and jumping at the chance of lying in bed with her were of course telltale signs that Naomi meant a whole lot more to me than she was supposed to.

I needed Jeremy to know that nothing had really happened, even if it was already clear to him that I had feelings for her. "I kissed her, once, last night."

"And you were about to again when I walked in, weren't you?" I nodded and averted my eyes in shame. "She's gay then?", he asked.

I frowned and looked up at him. "No. No, she's not." Jeremy looked confused. "Her boyfriend was there today."

"Jesus Christ, Emily! You broke a medical ethics_ law_, _cheated_ on me and, what, _forced_ yourself on a dying young woman while her boyfriend was out of the room?"

For the second time tonight, my jaw dropped to the floor at my own foolishness and recklessness. Put like that, I sounded like a horrible excuse for a human being and unworthy of both Jeremy and Naomi. All of a sudden it started to make sense that Naomi had given me that pained look when I took hold of her hand before I left. Pure agony left me winded as it dawned on me that perhaps Naomi didn't want me around at all, that she somehow felt forced to oblige me my crazy infatuation with her because I was part of the medical team treating her. Appalled at my own doing, I fell silent and felt nauseous and dizzy. _Jesus, what have I done? _Jeremy left me sitting on the couch in shock and utter abhorrence as he packed a bag and left for his sister's.

I'm not sure how long I sat on the couch, out of touch with the world. Somehow, somewhere my brain had registered that Jeremy had left and that he didn't know when he would be back. _Or did he say _if _he would be back?_ Cheated. Jeremy said I had cheated. I knew it to be true, even if it was only an innocent, chaste kiss. The kiss I had intended to give her tonight was less innocent and she had been occupying my every thought since our first meeting. I had pushed it aside, chalked it all up to my bleeding heart but looking back on it now, I realized that my even bleeding heart couldn't have caused the world to spin and my knees to buckle at the mere sight of her.

The pained look she had given me as I left her tonight flashed before my eyes. _I'm a horrible, horrible person._ Jeremy was right, I had forced myself on her relentlessly; firstly by kissing her without any reason to other than the close proximity of her stunning face. Secondly, by stalking her the following day, even if my intentions were honorable from the get-go, and imposing on her private reunion with Cook. I was trying to think back, hoping to find evidence of her actually appreciating my company and my little infatuation, but I was currently coming up blank. Sure, she had let me sit in her bed but it's not like she had invited me to. No, I had been the one to ask and she could hardly refuse, me being part of the magical medical team. And yes, she had rested her hand on my legs but there had been no caress, no expression of interest on her part. My legs were simply in the way of her arm!

The only evidence of her acceptance or maybe even appreciation of my company had been when she had invited me to lie beside her. And I had responded by forcing myself on her again, or well, almost anyway. That hostile look she had thrown me when I had acted condescending towards Cook made sense in a whole new way now and I felt even worse. They had all been so nice to me; Gina, Cook and Naomi and I had repaid them by breaking my promise to Gina about leaving Naomi alone, come on to Cook's girlfriend and violated Naomi as well as broken a number of medical ethical rules. I had never felt so ashamed or destitute in my life. I needed alcohol fast and lots of it. I picked up my phone, ignoring the messages from Effy and Katie replying to my apology and called Katie.

Half an hour later, she showed up with Effy and, surprisingly, James in tow, the latter carrying heavy bags of godsend beer, wine and vodka.

**First of all, thanks for reading!**

**Secondly, thank you to all of the reviewers, favs and followers! You are feeding my writing addiction and I am loving it! Keep 'em coming! **


	8. Chapter 8 - Sibling Love

**A/N – A big thank you to everyone who keeps reading this story!  
>And to 4ce0f5pades; I hope you have had a better day today and maybe this can cheer you up a little! <strong>

**Chapter 8. Sibling Love**

**Katie's POV**

Emily was downing her third shot of vodka and washing it down with a beer. She was clearly in a drinking mood again but tonight I doubted she had had a good day or that she was celebrating. She had sounded strange on the phone, basically speaking in isolated words; 'alcohol, lots, now, my place', that sort of thing. The look of pure horror on her face was of course another indicator that something was terribly wrong. When I had asked about Jeremy's whereabouts, she had simply waved me off and taken another shot of vodka. James ordered us some thai-takeaway and had now resorted to trying to keep up with Emily in terms of alcohol consumption. He was finding it difficult because she was keeping a rather steep pace. I can't remember the last time Emily had been drunk two nights in a row but it had to have been back in college and even then, she wouldn't down shot after shot like this. She was obviously desperate to drink herself into a stupor tonight.

When the food arrived, my twin was already having trouble walking in a straight line and her eyes were finding it hard to focus. James had given up trying to keep up with her vodka shots and was sipping slowly from a beer. Effy and I had declined the shots Emily had poured for us and were taking it easy by sharing a bottle of white wine. Emily had simply shrugged and downed both shots herself. She only finished half of her food, allowing James to finish it before leaning back in his chair, drunk, content and seemingly clueless to Emily's distress. Effy and I knew better though and when she glanced my way with a concerned look on her face, I decided I had had enough.

"As much fun as it is watching you drink yourself into oblivion, Ems, are you going to tell us the reason for this 'celebration'?", I said with a stern expression. I was expecting her to wave me off again but she merely stared at me, or rather stared at the open space between us, her eyes unfocused.

"I ruined it", she said with no feeling whatsoever, she was merely stating a fact. "I ruined everything." Her behavior was unnerving and, not unlike the drinking, completely out of character.

The three of us shared questioning looks but none of us seemed to have a clue as to exactly what she had ruined. Effy slid to the floor where Emily was sitting with the vodka bottle, hugging it tightly against her chest. "What happened, Ems?", she asked, placing gentle hands on my sister's knees.

"I kissed her." Emily answered matter-of-factly, still staring into the empty space between her and Effy, her voice void of emotion. James' eyes doubled in size and I shot him a threatening look as he opened his mouth, a wide grin spreading on his face. He got the message and clamped his mouth shut.

"Who, Emily? Who did you kiss?", Effy asked softly, placing a hand on Emily's cheek, brushing it in an attempt at comforting her.

"Naomi." Effy glanced towards me with an inquisitive eyebrow raised but I had no idea who Naomi was and shook my head, shrugging. Effy opened her mouth to ask Emily about whom Naomi was, but my sister beat her to it. "She's a patient. A beautiful, _amazing_ patient." There was plenty of emotion behind that statement however.

"Is that where you were all day?", I asked quietly. She nodded. "And Jeremy? Where is he, Emsy?"

"He left", she simply said and tears started running down her cheeks. Effy wiped them away one by one and I slipped down to the floor next to them. "He came looking for me", she started, her eyes once again unfocused, "and found me in her bed." I didn't need to see James' face to know what he was thinking, so I simply reached back and hit him hard on the shin without taking my eyes off my devastated sister.

Effy and I shared a knowing look and I knew I had to get Emily to start talking and more than anything, get her to start thinking. "Emily, why were you in her bed?" My sister managed to focus her eyes long enough to let me see the pain residing there.

"I… I don't know, she's just – when I'm near her it's like I can't think straight…" I once again slapped James hard on the shin in anticipation of his reaction to the irony of using the word 'straight' in context with Emily's confession. We needed to her keep talking at her own incentive without interruptions. Turns out she didn't need much incentive as she babbled on, describing to us how the air had been sucked out of the room when she saw Naomi for the first time and how every time their eyes met, the room would start to spin. She explained how the slightest touch made her stomach flutter and her heart race and how jealousy had almost gotten the better of her when she had met Naomi's boyfriend. Ever the scientist, she described everything down to the smallest detail, including the misery she had felt when Naomi had shied away from her earlier this evening. Tears kept streaming down her face but as she described the horrifying things she had experienced during the last few hours, there was no mention of Jeremy's leaving. All she could talk about was Naomi.

Emily eventually stopped and seemed to snap slightly out of her dazed state, as if letting it all out had brought her sanity back. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, wiping the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand. Effy used the opportunity to grab the vodka bottle from Emily but instead of putting it away, she opened it and took a large swig, wincing a little at the aftertaste of alcohol. She handed me the opened bottle, "I think it's justified, don't you?" She was right of course and I accepted it and took a large sip before handing it on to James, who had a somber look on his face. At least he wasn't finding the situation amusing anymore and I could stop hitting him. Not that I minded slapping him around but there were more important things to tend to at the moment. Like our sexually confused sister.

The four of us passed the vodka bottle around in silence and I was relieved to see Emily a little more composed despite dangerous amounts of alcohol in her system. James had joined us on the floor, sitting beside Emily with his arm around her. The two of them had bonded over science when he was in college whereas I had only just started to tolerate the little perv again. Seeing him so affected by Emily's unravelling before our eyes was touching, and _that_ was a sentiment I never thought I would use in connection with my brother.

Effy was the first to break our drinking haze as something occurred to her. "Hang on, did you say that her boyfriend's name was Cook?" Emily nodded but wasn't following why his name was important and neither was I. Effy turned her head to face me, frowning slightly. "Freddie had a friend called Cook, didn't he?" The name did ring a bell and I nodded hesitantly. She became more confident as things about Freddie's friend, Cook, sprung to mind. "Yeah, he did… Freddie lost touch with him when he got kicked out of some private college he attended with the rest of the privileged kids - I think?" She regarded me with a questioning look but I was of no help. Freddie really hadn't shared that much with me during our short-lived affair.

Emily snorted, her dislike of the mention of Naomi's boyfriend evident. "He didn't really seem like the privileged type."

Effy shook her head, "no, he was. His mum was filthy rich, old money I think. What did he look like?"

Emily pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to remember something about Naomi's boyfriend, whom she clearly hadn't been especially focused on. "Ah, he was probably as tall as James? Blue eyes, not a lot of hair on his head due to the whole buzz-cut thing. Handsome I suppose." The last sentiment was expressed with obvious reluctance.

"Not much to go on but I wonder how many Cook's our age there could be in Bristol back then?", Effy smiled at me.

**Emily's POV**

The sudden interest in Cook was getting on my nerves. If anything, he was the least interesting subject up for discussion but it was typical of my sister and Effy to turn my heartbreak into a discussion about men. Or man, as it were. I also found it quite amusing, although that could simply be because of the huge amount of alcohol I had consumed, that neither of them had commented on the fact that I had broken ethical laws by forcing myself on a patient. _Forcing myself on Naomi, Jesus Christ. _Disgust at my actions once again rippled through me and I shook my head violently to get rid of the feeling. All it resulted in was the room spinning and I was thankful that James still had his arm around me, otherwise I might have fallen over. Katie noticed my discomfort and realizing they had digressed and were discussing something irrelevant, she quickly changed the subject.

"What were you doing when Jeremy found you? You know, in her bed?"

I felt James shift beside me but he never said a word. I realized that in his mind, this was just about the hottest thing in the world and it must have been hard for him to keep quiet. Katie threw him a look and I understood that she had the same idea of what was on our younger brother's mind. I looked up at Katie, "nothing, we weren't doing anything." I sighed and surrendered as she threw me a knowing look. I never was good at lying to her. "Fine… I was about to kiss her again when he walked in." Katie looked proud, as if she had called my bluff but it was James who surprised us by speaking up.

"I don't get it, why did she kiss you if she has a boyfriend?" I turned to look at him and saw him roll his eyes, "sorry, that was a stupid question."

Effy laughed out loud. "Actually James, you've got a point there." She turned to look at me, a curious smile forming on her lips. "I think we need you to turn your brain back on, Emily. There seems to be a few details missing."

I really didn't want to explain to them how I had forced myself on Naomi but I desperately needed to make some sense of the situation and of my feelings. I gave in and told them how she had turned away, ashamed and how I had reached out and been so close that I couldn't resist the pull of her eyes. I explained how she had teased me when I had apologized and how I had coerced her into allowing me to sit in her bed. By the time I got to the end and told them how she had moved back to make space for me before I crawled in, Effy had an odd look on her face.

"What?", I asked, scared that she would be angry with me for being such a despicable human being.

"Emily", she shook her head and sighed. I moved back slightly and prepared myself for a verbal attack and for her disgust of me to show. "Why are you so convinced that you are the villain in this?" I frowned, not really following. "Alright, maybe the kiss was a little abrupt and uncalled for. As for the rest, it seems like she was behaving flirtatiously and I don't care how important you are to that medical trial but there is no way she would feel coerced into inviting you into her bed." I noticed Katie nodding, agreeing with Effy's assessment.

"But why would she be flirting with Emily if she has a boyfriend?", James asked, confused. "Or is it because I'm a boy that I don't get this whole thing?"

Effy shook her head and looked deep in thought, "no, I agree, it doesn't make much sense…"

"It's beside the point!" I lost my temper. As much as I liked the idea that Naomi might have been flirting with me and that I wasn't entirely to blame, it wasn't the point of all this. Their ignorance of the serious implications this had, not only on my career but on my entire life, made me miss Jeremy and his rational logic. At least he had cut to the chase and understood the huge ethical implications involved. "I violated a patient! I could lose my job over this and I might have already lost my fiancée! Oh, and I must be losing my mind because I couldn't care less about any of it! All I can think about is her and running back to the hospital to finish what I started!" I was yelling and felt winded, panting a little as the fire in me died out. They were all staring at me, looking more than a little surprised at seeing me lose my temper. Not that I could blame them, it only happened about once every decade. My head was spinning from the alcohol and I realized I was about to be sick, my body finally rejecting the alcohol. I got up and stumbled to the bathroom, Katie following quickly.

She held my hair and stroked my back reassuringly as I emptied the contents of my stomach over and over. I wasn't used to the shots of pure alcohol and had been too preoccupied with feeling like shit to take note of how much I had consumed. The last thing I remember was firm hands lifting me and dragging me off to bed.

**Effy's POV**

I waited for Katie outside the bedroom as she put Emily to bed. James had helped carry her but wasn't comfortable staying to watch Katie undress her. This struck me as odd considering he had spent the better part of his tween years ogling them whenever he got the chance but I suppose even James had to grow out of that phase. After about ten minutes, Katie reemerged, carefully closing the bedroom door behind her. I knew she was upset at seeing Emily like this, hell we all were, but I also knew Katie well enough to know that she felt she needed to fix this. I was however, curious to know exactly _what_ she was intending to fix.

"Fuck…" Katie shook her head and leaned against the door, sighing.

"So? What are you going to do?"

Katie closed her eyes and frowned. I could tell she was going back and forth in her head, trying to figure out what was best for Emily. The situation was quite complex because the girl, this Naomi, was terminally ill and aside from that, a patient of Emily's. There was a lot more at stake here than the standard 'gay or straight, boy or girl'-dilemma. I knew what I personally was leaning towards but it really wasn't my place. It wasn't Katie's either but I knew she didn't see it that way. She had this gene that made her stick her nose into everybody's business because she felt an innate need to fix everything and everyone. I would have said she was a classic middle-child, only she was the eldest so it wasn't applicable. Even if it didn't always appear that way at first, Katie was usually dead on in her musings. And she was relentless in getting her opinions voiced so there was little point in refusing her. One issue however, she had never pushed.

"I have to talk to Jeremy", she finally said and sounded resigned. "Will you stay with her tonight, make sure she doesn't choke in her sleep or something?"

I smiled warmly and nodded. "Of course. I love her too, you know."

She smiled. "I know." I noticed a change in her and she smirked at me. "I am curious though… I would love to meet the girl who finally made Emily's gay show."

**Not the biggest surprise to Katie and Effy then, not a surprise at all really! This sad evening has come to a close and hopefully, Sunday will bring a little more happiness… Time will tell! **


	9. Chapter 9 - Harsh Realizations

**A/N – I just want to say that I am deeply thankful for the support I have been receiving! I really want to do the story justice and hopefully taking a little more time writing each chapter will make sure you all keep reading and enjoying it. **

**Chapter 9. Harsh Realizations**

**Naomi's POV**

Something large and warm was pressing against me when I woke from my early afternoon nap. I was back to waking in a foul mood since waking up with a smile on my face had proven a one-time occurrence. Realizing this large, warm thing was a person I turned my head, expecting to see Mum's face. She had been here earlier, as always waiting for me to wake up in the morning and she had left shortly before I decided to rest my eyes for a bit. Everything was back to usual, no beautiful visitors to brighten my day or keep me from afternoon-napping. Well, luckily at least one thing was different about today.

"Afternoon, Naomikins", Cook said, a smile spreading from ear to ear. In my hazed state, having just woken up, the morphine pump working at a high dose rate, I was momentarily confused at seeing him. _Right – Cook, burgers, Emily. _

From the very first time I locked eyes with her, I knew I was in trouble. The attraction had been instant and I had felt something I hadn't allowed myself to feel in months – hope. Everything about her had intrigued me and I had spent the better part of the week thinking of her and hoping I would see her again. When I woke up Friday evening to her enticing, affectionate eyes, I felt that same wave of hope and excitement rush over me and when her wonderful lips had pressed against mine, it merely confirmed what I already knew to be true. Practically on my deathbed, I had fallen for someone literally at first sight. This, by the way, was just about as far out of character for me as allowing this disease to best me. I was powerless to stop either of it though.

Back during the first year of Uni, it had taken me weeks to feel at ease around Sarah and months for me to accept that for the first time in my life, I needed someone other than myself in order to function. After only one brief meeting and an even shorter chat about renal scores and hot dates with twin sisters, I already felt more comfortable and relaxed in Emily's company than I had after months in a devoted relationship. The way she sat at the foot of my bed, talking, laughing and caressing me softly had seemed like the most natural thing in the world, like she had been doing nothing but that her entire life. It was obvious that Emily had a good heart and she was probably always nice to strangers and patients alike. I did however, strongly doubt that caressing, kissing and jumping into bed with either stranger or patient was an everyday event or part of her job description. Everything about Emily had charmed and captivated me and foolishly, I had allowed myself to hope, to feel and to fall.

The realization that she was in a relationship shouldn't have taken me by such surprise. Someone as remarkable as Emily was surely off the market, regardless of sexual orientation. But it had and it was careless of me. It wasn't so much the mere fact that she was off limits nor was it the fact that the boyfriend seemed to personify the 'tall, dark and handsome'-phrase, making the two of them a truly stunning couple. No, what made the whole situation sour was the realization that Emily wasn't the compassionate person I believed her to be. Leading a terminally ill patient on was cruel, selfish and vicious and the realization that Emily was capable of such things had left me devastated. Nothing had ever hurt me more than having the immaculate feeling of infatuation, hope and utter adoration ripped from my grasp.

On any normal day, waking up with Cook next to me would have been the result of passing out drunk after a party. I would give my right arm, no, I would give all of my limbs in fact, for that to be the reason for him occupying my bed but, alas. He was in my bed because he needed to feel like I wasn't dying, that I wasn't going to disappear in a few months, or weeks depending on how my body handled the increased stress of the tumors. Regardless, I felt relieved to have him by my side, even if it was sort of a violation.

"Are you really going to make a habit of watching me sleep?"

"Actually, from now on, I intend to make it my business to watch you at all hours of the day." I was about to laugh and make a stupid joke about showers and sponge baths when I realized he was being serious. He literally wasn't going to let me out of his sights. I turned to him, placing my head on his shoulder and shuffling closer.

"Cook", I spoke softly, almost whispering, "you know you can't stop this from happening, right? You can't fix this." He answered by simply putting his arms around me and pulling me closer. He kissed my forehead once and gave me an additional squeeze before relaxing a little again. It felt oddly nice to lie there with him, comforting to have my head on his shoulder and just enjoying being with him. These past nine months were the longest I had ever gone without seeing him and even before realizing I was sick, I was worried that he would come back from the war, changed somehow. That we would have grown apart and that special bond we had shared for almost a decade would have unraveled. Lying here with him now made me realize I was an idiot for thinking Cook would ever leave my side. It seemed he would have to sooner rather than later though, as a nurse showed up to help me take a quick shower.

I once again insisted on dressing myself and was surprised that Mum wasn't back when I was done. She knew my whole routine down to the minute and as much as I never thought I would say this, I missed her. I needed her, even if she still drove me crazy from time to time. Cook seemed to read my expression. "Gina's getting coffee with one of the doctors." He started grinning at me and I instantly figured out which doctor it was.

"Kieran again, then." I sighed and rolled my eyes dramatically. "God, they are like teenagers! Can't they just admit they fancy each other and get to it already?"

"I know… She literally couldn't stop talking about him on the drive home last night, even though I had no idea who the man was", Cook explained, still grinning. "And you should have seen the way she lit up when he walked in a couple of minutes ago!" He shrugged, "didn't take a genius like that Emily-girl to put two and two together!"

I winced at the mention of Emily's name but shook it off and crawled back into bed, cuddling up to Cook who was still lounging there. I hadn't told him about what had happened between me and Emily or how I really felt about her and for some reason, I was still reluctant to. At first, I figured that if I told anyone about her kissing me and the special attention she had been giving me, she might find herself in serious trouble. Now my reluctance was personal since opening up to him about it would only allow the pain of her cruelty to linger. It would be better to just ignore everything and start focusing on spending as much time as possible with the two people I loved most in this world. The only two people I loved, really. But contrary to popular belief, Cook was no idiot and where I was concerned, he could read me like an open book. He was the first person I came out to, the one that had helped me come to terms with what it meant and he had done all of it while being madly in love with me. If there ever was a testament to unconditional love, that epitomize it. There were times when I had hated being gay simply because I knew that had I felt the same way about Cook as he did about me, I would have found my soul-mate at fifteen.

"So, Blondie", he said and shifted down a little, lying on his back with my head on his shoulder, "are you going to willingly tell me about her or I am going to have to force it out of you?"

**Emily's POV**

In college, I did an assignment for my A-level biology class entitled 'the damaging effects of excessive alcohol consumption'. It comprised of a thorough step-by-step metabolism of ethanol into its toxic metabolite acetaldehyde. It's partially to blame for feeling like shit the morning after a drunken stupor. There are additional reasons for the headaches and bloodshot eyes that hurt when you move, most of which have to do with sleeping with your mouth open and your reflexes being so distorted that you actually sleep with your eyes half-open. Despite having all of this precise and decadent knowledge of alcohol, I had still acted like a vodka bottle was the solution to all of my problems last night.

I woke up literally falling out of bed, my arm dangling over the side and my head halfway into a well-positioned bucket full of stomach acid, presumably and hopefully mine. I lifted my heavy arm and rolled onto my back. I was in my own bed, dressed in an oversized t-shirt, last night's clothes nicely draped across a chair by the window. _When did that happen? _I felt the mattress shift and turned my head, half expecting to look into Jeremy's deferent eyes. Instead, I turned to face the beautiful creature that was Effy Stonem, lying next to me and watching me intently.

"Morning, drama queen". She sounded tired too, her voice raspy. She had that ever insightful eyebrow raised in my direction, humor written across her face. How it is humanly possible to look that picturesque after only a few hours of sleep and several shots of vodka, is beyond me. It's not like she was a complete ogre last week and all of a sudden thanks to a fairy godmother was remade into this stunning creation currently popped up on one elbow, eyeing me curiously. The truth is, I had always found her stunning but somehow I seemed to appreciate it a little more at the moment.

Dreamily studying Effy's features came to an abrupt end as I felt a wave of nausea and rolled back over the side of the bed, ready with my head over the bucket. Rolling around didn't really help the situation as terrible pain filled my head, resonating at my left temple and causing the room to spin – and not in that nice, earthshattering way I had otherwise been experiencing lately. After a couple of minutes, the worst of the nausea had passed without my having added further to the bucket volume.

"You alright, Ems?", Effy asked, concerned this time as the apparent amusement at my awful state having passed. It didn't feel like I would be able to speak without risking losing control of my gag-reflex, so I waved an arm back at her, hoping it would suffice. I felt her get out of bed and was thankful when she walked around and kneeled down in front of, brushing some hair out of my eyes. "Poor thing, I can't remember ever seeing you this badly hung over." She held out a glass of water for me but since it was currently hard to swallow my saliva without retching, I pushed it away, disgusted. Effy put the glass back on the nightstand and slipped down to the floor in front of me. My eyes were dry and hurting so I decided it would be better to simply close them, even if it did make the room spin.

I woke up with a jolt, thinking it had been mere seconds since closing them. Effy had magically disappeared and so had the bucket of stomach acid. My head was pounding and my throat felt like someone had poured a pound of sand into it. I would know because James actually did that once while on holiday in Normandy. He was only five years old at the time and had no idea that sand shouldn't really go down someone's throat. Vaguely recalling something about a glass of water, I reached for the nightstand, took hold of it and drank in small sips, not willing to risk retching simply because I was too eager to quench my thirst and appease my dry throat. I realized most of the early morning's nausea had disappeared and I felt well enough to get to my feet.

I found Effy and James lounging on the couches in the living room. James was also wearing the same thing as last night, so I assumed he had spent the night on my couch. "Where's Katie?", I asked, shocked at the sound of my almost undetectable voice.

Effy shrugged, "She had some things to sort out, so she asked me and James to stay with you last night." From her evasiveness, I instantly understood what 'things' Katie needed to sort out and the nightmare of the situation hit me hard. I hadn't forgotten, not really, but while in a haze of toxic alcohol metabolites and lack of proper sleep, you tend to brush aside anything that might cause you additional pain, even it if is mostly of the emotional kind. I panicked.

"Effy, where is she? Effy, you fucking tell me right now! Please, _please _tell me she hasn't gone to see Naomi!" I was practically begging, my voice failing me halfway but whether it was due to emotion or the fact that my voice was barely audible was up for discussion.

Effy got up and took hold of my shoulders. "Emily, calm down for fucks sake! Of course she hasn't, she wouldn't do that." Effy paused to see if I was indeed calming down.

"She's with Jeremy", James said matter-of-factly, as if there were nothing remotely odd about that scenario, even given present conditions. "She texted about half an hour ago, wanted to know if you were awake", he shrugged.

"Why?"

He shrugged and looked hesitantly in Effy''s direction. Unlike James, she had no intention of evading my question.

"Jeremy wants to pick up a few things and I think he would rather not have you here when he does." There was a hint of accusation in her voice and I remembered why I had been so sure she would verbally attack me last night when I had revealed what had happened. "And it's none of my business but why is it that the first thing you thought of was Naomi? Shouldn't you be more worried about fixing your relationship with Jeremy?"

Effy wasn't big on adultery, I knew that. Her parents had split up because of her mother's infidelity and she had yet to forgive poor Anthea for it. What I had done wasn't really comparable to months of creeping and sleeping around but I wasn't sure if Effy agreed with me on that. Her reaction was the one I had feared the most _because _she felt so strongly on the subject. My betrayal wasn't a physical one, though but thinking back on it now, I wasn't sure a physical relationship was any worse than what I had done. Naomi had occupied my mind since the day I met her and even if it wasn't physical relationship and never would be, my infatuation with her persisted and Jeremy literally was the farthest thing from my mind when I was around her. If that doesn't constitute cheating, I'm not sure what does.

I sighed and slumped down on the couch, burying my head in my hands. _Fuck!_ _What have I done?_ Effy was right, obviously. I _should_ be busy trying to make it right with Jeremy and abhorred, I suddenly realized I hadn't even apologized to him. I had been too busy feeling confused and destitute at my strong feelings for someone that wasn't Jeremy.

Effy seemed to regret being harsh with me and slipped down next to me. "Emily, I'm not trying to make you feel bad." I turned my head, it still buried in my hands and regarded her through the gaps between my fingers. I saw no malice, only genuine concern. "I'm just trying to help you gain some perspective."

I contemplated her words for a minute. "Tell Katie he can come round in an hour, if that's alright?" I finally said, accepting full blame of the situation. I wasn't sure if 'picking up a few things' meant that he was going to leave me for good or if he simply needed time. As far as he was concerned, Naomi and I had only shared that one, chaste kiss and he was thankfully unaware of the full extent of her power over me. If I could just get her out of my head while getting Jeremy to forgive me, I could get back to living my life the way I always had. I just needed to stay away from her. _I'm just not sure I can…_

"Is it too early for that Sunday pizza, little brother?" He shook his head in enthusiastically and it felt like he was twelve again. I smiled.

"I think I know just the place", Effy answered, a smug look and crooked smile spreading across her stunning face.

**Can anyone guess where that place might be? **

**Thank you again to all followers, favorites and reviewers! I had a really long day today and didn't really have the energy to finish the chapter but after receiving a couple of really wonderful reviews that made me all giddy again, I just couldn't resist! **


	10. Chapter 10 - Brutal Honesty

**A/N – It took a few more days than I had intended but it was important to try and get it right. I hope you enjoy reading it because I sure did seeing it play out in my head before writing it.**

**Chapter 10. Brutal Honesty**

**Effy's POV**

The fact that Emily didn't notice that we were on the way to King's College was proof of just how confusing and upsetting this entire situation was for her. James had realized which direction we were headed in the minute we hopped on the tube but Emily had merely followed my lead, never once stopping to make use of that astonishingly analytical mind of hers. It was like her mind was somewhere else, in a haze of apprehension and guilt, although I wasn't sure where the guilt actually was directed. Despite Katie's desire and gift of fixing situations like this, I thought it was better to let people figure out who and what they wanted in their own time. Unfortunately, time was an issue here since Naomi only had a short amount of time left in this world. Naomi had turned Emily's whole world upside-down in a matter of hours, which made it quite clear that there was something extraordinary about their connection. On the other hand, if Emily wanted to fix things with Jeremy, she had a little more time but in order to do that, she needed to get over her obsession with Naomi first. Regardless of what Emily ended up doing, there was one thing she needed to take care of first and she was too implicated and confused to see it herself.

What most people don't realize about Emily Fitch is that she is an outright genius. That she was smart was never much of a secret. She was always helpful to anyone and everyone having trouble understanding anything from Shakespeare to algebra but the extent was far greater than I had anticipated. I consider myself quite perceptive and a great judge of character but Emily was my greatest failure in that respect. It wasn't until Katie and I bonded after both of us kicked Freddie to the curb that I discovered the truth about Emily's genius.

During college, she was enrolled in evening courses at Bristol University for no particular reason other than she was bored with our curriculum and wanted to test different areas before deciding on what to dedicate her life to. Everything came easy to her and she never had to study to learn new things but sometimes, when she was juggling both the medical program and the molecular biology classes, she had been forced to actually put some effort into it. It wasn't because it was hard but completing two separate Bachelors' at the same time meant a lot of work, even if she did use some of the courses she had taken during college to supplement the molecular biology Bachelor. She did it though; two degrees and in less time than it took most people to finish just one. Like I said; the girl was a fucking genius.

The Master's was smooth sailing for her and she naturally did a double course load, finishing in almost half the time. That's when she had met Jeremy, studying for finals while applying for the PhD-position she was already guaranteed to get since Kieran had handpicked her for the job. The two of them quickly became serious and I suppose none of us were surprised when they announced their engagement about a year ago. Katie and I had discussed it only days before they announced it, thinking that if they actually got engaged, Emily would have proven us wrong, albeit unknowingly.

Looking at the miserable state Emily was in now, I realized that nothing in the world would have made me happier than if Katie and I had indeed been wrong. Emily was headed for abysmal and inevitable heartbreak regardless of the choices she would be forced to make.

James and I led Emily through the main entrance of the hospital before she realized where she was. To his credit, James had kept quiet and had played along in order to get Emily where she needed to be. I suppose he was as curious as I was to see who had corrupted his older sister so completely. Emily stopped abruptly as she, per her routine, showed her credentials as she passed the reception. She turned around to look at us, aghast and still utterly wretched.

I regarded her with what I hoped was a sympathetic and somber expression. "Emily, you were right last night. You need to take care of this situation before it gets out of hand and affects your career." I made use of my impenetrable poker face, not wanting to risk Emily discovering the real reason I had brought her here. "You need to sort this with Naomi."

She nodded slowly, understanding why we had brought her here. Luckily, the fact that James and I were practically pissing ourselves with curiosity had yet to dawn on her. I suppose we should thank Naomi for clouding poor Emily's mind so much that it made it possible for us mere mortals to manipulate her a little for once. I pulled her in for a reassuring squeeze and gently said, "Lead the way."

We walked through a couple of locked doors and into a wing of the hospital I didn't even know existed. I had visited Emily several times at the lab but this was a completely different building and there were yellow warning signs on every door marked "Radioactivity, no entry". Emily was still mute but as we neared what I assumed was Naomi's door, Emily's shoulders straightened and she ran quick hands through her hair. I marveled at the effect Naomi had on Emily after mere hours with each other and one, from the sound of it, very innocent kiss. I wasn't sure I had ever felt that way, which I suppose only confirmed that I hadn't.

Emily came to a halt in front of a white door, presumably Naomi's. It was closed and no audible sounds were escaping the room. "What time is it?, Emily whispered over her shoulder without looking back at us.

"Five past three", James answered, following his sister's lead and whispering. Emily nodded once in determination, took a deep breath and knocked softly on the door.

**Naomi's POV**

I lifted my head slightly from where it had been resting on Cook's shoulder. "There's something I've been meaning to ask you."

He glanced down at me. "Let's have it then."

I hesitated for a moment, fearing his answer. "When do you have to go back? To finish your contract, I mean."

Cook smiled warmly but he didn't fool me. He wasn't the slightest bit happy that I had brought it up. I knew that he had a ten-month tour and that meant he had one month left before he was officially a civilian again. It was his third tour, all of them in Afghanistan, but the first two had only been six months each and he had been in touch at least once a week during them both. The latest tour had been different and I knew he had new responsibilities and he had had a hard time keeping our Skype-dates. By the time I got my diagnosis, he was flying completely under the radar only to return to London one month ahead of schedule. Something was off and despite his attempts at acting like it was nothing out of the ordinary, I had gotten my diploma in reading the body language of James Cook at the tender age of sixteen and he wasn't fooling me for a second.

"Don't worry about it, Blondie", was all I got from him. I gave him a stern look and he crumbled immediately. "Fine. I might have lied and told them that you were my wife in order to get shipped back ASAP once I heard you were sick."

"You lied? To the military? To government, basically?" This couldn't possibly be a good thing.

He shrugged and smiled, pulling my head close for another of the now standard forehead-kisses. I snuggled up to him, once again resting my head on his wide shoulder. "It was either lie or desert and I don't really give a fuck as long as I get to be with you until…" He stopped midsentence, realizing there was no good way to end it. A rare moment of awkward, awful silence was thankfully interrupted by a soft knock on my door.

Expecting an orderly or nurse, I barely registered the people at the door when it opened. Cook however, tensed and I lifted my head from his shoulder to give whoever it was an evil stare for disturbing us. Shocked, I realized Emily and two strangers were standing in the doorway. After I had opened up to Cook about Emily, he had gotten angry, very, _very _angry. He had never taken kindly to people who hurt me and the whole thing had made his blood boil, despite the instant liking he had taken to Emily. I felt his pulse start to race in anger at Emily's audacity. I placed a calming hand on his chest but it did little to appease him.

"What are _you _doing here?", he sneered and got out of bed, making it suddenly feel cold and empty. I hadn't realized how nice it had felt having him there. Emily took a step back, a frightful expression on her beautiful face. I briefly questioned my sanity when I realized that to me, she was just as exquisite and wonderful as the first time I had laid eyes on her, despite the hurt she had caused me.

Instantaneously, the young man and woman behind Emily stepped forward, placing themselves between her and Cook. Before the army put Cook straight, he would have taken that behavior as a challenge and lost his temper. This time, however, he kept his cool and began a staring contest with the young man, who was clearly terrified of Cook yet remained determined to hold his ground. The young woman took control of the situation before I could, my reaction speed not being at its best anymore.

"Calm down, Cook", the woman said, taking another small step towards him. I noticed the surprise on Cook's face at the familiarity with which she used his name His surprise quickly turned into a frown but at least he wasn't about to jump Emily anymore and I relaxed a little. Despite everything, I really didn't want to see her exquisite face and body bloodied by my overprotective friend. The young man standing in front of Emily also seemed to relax and I noticed how young he was. The woman, on the other hand was our age and conveyed power and confidence, challenging Cook and holding his gaze without faltering. For the first time in my life I saw Cook divert his gaze at the sheer power radiating from the young woman's eyes.

"Effy, please, you can't blame him. I hate me too at the moment", Emily said and turned her head to look at me, seeming lost and completely miserable. It was hard to believe that anyone looking that desolate and contrite could have caused my heart to break less than a day ago. Regardless, I was still hurting, even if telling Cook had made me feel a little better about the whole thing.

Emily's guilt-ridden eyes locked with mine and I regretfully had to acknowledge the fact that they still made my stomach flutter. Emily seemed to gather some courage and walked to my bedside. Cook was about to step in her way when I softly shook my head at him.

"It's alright, Cook." He turned to look at me, a concerned and disbelieving frown on his face. I smiled at him, "Really."

"Can we talk?", she asked quietly, her eyes mirroring my own heartache. I hesitated and saw Cook angrily shake his head behind Emily's back. I gave him a reassuring smile before focusing on the seemingly devastated woman in front of me. Emily's entire being was pleading with me, emanating despair and heartbreak and yet somehow, making my heart pound in my chest. Cook crossed his arms, obviously not intending on letting Emily come near me again. Effy noticed and stepped in.

"Cook, why don't you show us where we can get some coffee?", Effy said and gently touched his arm. "Naomi will be fine for a few minutes", she said and smiled genuinely at him. I expected him to complain and argue with her, pull his arm away but he simply turned his head, looked into her eyes and nodded. I stared at him as Effy led him and the young man I still didn't know the name of out of the room, closing the door behind her. I regained some self-respect and strength, crossed my arms in a defensive stance and looked expectantly at Emily.

**Emily's POV**

Effy had been right, I needed to talk to Naomi and I desperately needed to make sure my life wasn't going to spiral into oblivion due to my inexplicable obsession with her. I had fully intended on simply apologizing and hopefully convince Naomi to not tell Kieran or anyone else about my little indiscretion and frenetic, inappropriate behavior. I just needed to get through this and get my life back to normal. Naturally, the minute I entered her room and locked eyes with her, all of my honorable and intelligible intentions flew out the window along with my sanity.

She was clearly angry with me, those wonderful, expressive eyes were full of hurt and accusation and I couldn't blame her. I would give anything in the world to have her regard me with the same affection and genuine pleasure as last night. I closed the distance between myself and her bed but couldn't decide on where to start. I desperately wanted to explain myself to her while apologizing for my behavior at the same time but I couldn't really do any of it. Despite having Katie, Effy and even Jeremy assist me in analyzing and trying to understand my feelings, I had yet to make any real sense of them. All I was sure of was that if I could do anything for the rest of my life, it would be to stare into Naomi's eyes. Telling her that, however, would neither be apologetic nor appropriate.

Naomi spoke, losing patience with me. "So? What do you want?"

I couldn't help it. Hearing her speak to me with obvious resent caused tears to fill my eyes and I was powerless to stop them from streaming down my face. All I came here to do was apologize but when I opened my mouth, words did not escape me. Whether it was my voice failing me due to last night's adventure down a vodka bottle or that I was simply an emotional mess, remains unclear. She uncrossed her arms, a concerned frown forming on her face as she noticed my tears.

"Emily?", she said as her resolve faltered, hostility and apprehension however still resonating in her voice.

"I… I can't!" I buried my hands in my hair and turned away, taking a few steps toward the door. I needed to get out, get away and forget about all of the things she had made me feel without ever meaning to. But I couldn't leave. I couldn't physically get myself to take the last few steps toward the door. Abruptly, I turned and almost ran back to the bed, determinedly cupping Naomi's stunning albeit stunned face in my hands and captured her lips in a sweet but firm kiss. I pulled away but only a little and stared into her perplexed eyes, my hands caressing her cheeks.

"I think you are the most astonishingly beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on." My eyes wandered across her face, taking everything in in case this was to be the very last time I could. She swallowed hard but didn't pull away. "I can't stand being in the same room with you unless I am close enough to touch you and it is both inappropriate and completely immoral. But I don't care, even if I lose my job, my fiancée and your boyfriend beats me to a bloody pulp." I didn't know where I was going with this, having surprised myself greatly by acting this way in the first place. So I simply said what came to mind. It was the first time I was being honest with myself about what I was feeling.

"The first time our eyes locked, the air was sucked out of my lungs and the room started to spin. I couldn't get you out of my head after that and I tried finding an excuse, any excuse to visit you. When I finally did, one simple touch sent ripples of electricity coursing through me. I have never experienced anything like this before and it is scary and ferocious and I can't make sense of it. It's not fair of me to use you in order to get my head straight about what you have stirred in me and I can't guarantee that I will figure this out or that I won't hurt you enormously in the process. All I do know is that I can't stand the idea of hurting you again. So I came to apologize and to beg you to not mention my horrible behavior to anyone, in the hopes that I can keep my job, a job I love."

Despite myself, I smiled warmly at her. "But the minute I saw you, I realized that nothing in the world could get me to stay away from you except one thing; you asking me to. So I'm sorry, I'm so, _so_ sorry, for hurting you, upsetting you, for forcing myself on you, for being ashamed of being caught with you and if it is what you want, I will keep my distance."

I stopped, my head spinning with emotion. The brutal honesty I had subjected myself to for the first time sank in and my hands dropped from her cheeks. I took a step backwards in horror realizing that somehow, while meaning to apologize, I had once again managed to force myself on her. Surrendering to my mistakes and accepting that I had made a complete and utter fool of myself yet again, I slowly turned around to leave without as much as a final look in her direction.

"Emily, wait." I stopped at the sound of her voice but hesitated for a minute, closing my eyes and gathering the strength to turn and face her. My eyes widened in surprise when I turned and realized Naomi had gotten out of bed and was standing in front of me, the tube from the morphine pump stretched out behind her. I should be telling her to get back in bed but all I could think of was how close we were and how surprisingly tall she was. I looked up into her captivating eyes, my body responding on instinct as I inched closer, hardly moving my feet but somehow still managing to eliminate the already limited space between us. Any fears I might have had of having forced myself on her or the simple fear of rejection, vanished as I lost myself in her passionate blue gaze.

I barely had time to register what was happening, my mind clouded by desperation, despair and desire. I felt Naomi pull me close with one arm while taking a step back towards the bed in order to secure her other arm around my waist, once the tube from the pump slacked enough to allow her to. I instinctively reached up and put my arms around her neck, noticing how her eyes flickered to my lips and back to my eyes before she bent down and pressed her soft lips against mine. The kiss was as innocent as ever but the passion behind it was immense. She started to pull away but I wouldn't let her and I responded by digging my fingers into the short hair at the back of her neck and parting my lips slightly, capturing hers between mine again and again. I was clinging to her, clinging to the fire that was building inside me, a fire I never knew existed before I had lost myself in her eyes for the first time. This time, she had instigated it, she had _wanted _it and nothing would ever beat this feeling. Then I felt my knees almost give in as the soft tip of Naomi's tongue brushed against mine.

**Thank God for Effy Stonem! And thank you for reading, reviewing, following and fav'ing! It is the fuel for my writing fire!**

**I will be leaving for Sydney soon for a two-month adventure in Australia and, as you can imagine, I might not have a whole lot of time to write and update. I will however, do my very best and spend my 30 hour-flight with my head in my computer. **


	11. Chapter 11 - Clearing up Confusion

**A/N – First of all, I got some amazing feedback from the last chapter and it really, really touched me. Secondly, this is the first chapter sent all the way from Australia! I'm finding it hard to find time to write and I was away from this story for almost two weeks, so it might not be the best follow up to the last chapter… **

**Chapter 11. Clearing up Confusion**

**Effy's POV**

"So are you going to tell me why you are so familiar to me?" Cook blew steam from his coffee and eyed me expectantly from behind the rim of the cup.

I shrugged and leaned against the wall behind me, bending a knee up under me. "We share an old friend, you and I." He lifted an inquiring eyebrow as he took another sip. "Freddie McClair."

As soon as I sounded out his name, Cook's face contorted in a mixture of pain and anger. I knew they had lost touch long ago but I never knew the details and seeing Cook in obvious distress at the mere mention of Freddie caught my interest.

He composed himself quickly, acting nonchalant but I saw right through him. "Freddie, huh? Haven't thought of him for a long time", he lied.

"Who's Freddie?", James asked with a slight lisp after having burnt his tongue being too eager with his hot chocolate. He hadn't started drinking coffee yet and even though I knew he was very much an adult these days, I swear there were moments where it seemed like he would stay twelve years old for life. I couldn't help but send him a small, overbearing smile.

"Have I ever told you the story of how Katie and I became friends?" James shook his head and winced having yet again lifting the cup of hot chocolate to his lips. "Well, we hated each other in the beginning. You might not remember but Katie could be quite…" I was at a loss for the right word, since I was describing my very best friend in life but who, back then, had been more of a nemesis than a bosom buddy.

"A bitch?", James chimed in.

"Difficult." I corrected and he grinned. "Well, let's just say we spent a few months making each other miserable and most of that was due to this one boy we both fancied."

"Freddie?"

I nodded and took another sip, carefully blowing cool air over the cup before sampling it. "He was popular, gorgeous and the center of a lot of attention from practically every girl at college. Well, aside from Emily that is." I smiled, having already had my suspicions regarding the quiet twin back then. I might not have picked up on her genius early enough, her sexuality however, was as clear as day to me back then.

"One day, Freddie showed up at my house and basically courted me. Little did I know that he was doing the exact same thing with Katie, alternating which days he spent with whom and making sure that his friends, including Cook here, kept schtum." I sent Cook an accusing look and he looked away. "I fell completely head over heels for Freddie and everything in life seemed amazing, even Katie was being much nicer to me. It turns out, she was being nice because she thought she had 'won' Freddie and was feeling so superior that she didn't even feel the need to rub it in my face." I smiled at the memory, "We would both have been saved a whole lot of heartache if she hadn't chosen that time to take the highroad though."

"I remember how that whole thing started", Cook interrupted. "Freddie was being cocky, fully aware that both of you were interested and we bet him, me and Thomas, that he couldn't pull the both of you in the same week. Once he did, we changed it to on the same day and we still lost." He shook his head. "We were idiots…"

"I can only agree. It went on for about a month before Katie and I finally had a drunken heart-to-heart that disclosed what he had been up to." I smiled slyly at James and winked, "Needless to say, we had to teach Freddie a lesson and your sister had some pretty violent tendencies back then and her fierce nature really impressed me."

"Oh, I know all about her violent nature, thank you very much." James said with a pained expression and I was unable to suppress a laugh. Cook looked confused and James explained, "Let's just say she didn't appreciate my growing fascination with the female anatomy a couple of years ago…"

When Cook realized what James was implying, he tipped his head back and laughed enthusiastically. "Your sisters?! Little perv!", he exclaimed and ruffled James' hair like he was still a boy getting caught staring at his sisters through the keyhole of the bathroom door. James didn't seem to mind much though and grinned at Cook before joining in on the laughter. We finished our coffee in silence but with smiles on our faces, giggling on occasion.

Cook threw his empty cup in the trash and turned to me. "I met you once, didn't I?" I smiled and nodded. "I was usually pretty fucked up at parties back then though, it's all a blur", he shrugged.

"Just at parties or in general?", I asked, smirking at him sideways.

He smiled earnestly, "In general, I suppose." He turned his head and looked down the hallway towards Naomi's room. "I have her to thank, you know." He let out a pained sigh, "I got a little overprotective back there but I can't help it, not when it comes to Naomi."

I had my suspicions but decided to ask anyway, "What's the deal with you two?"

"She's my best mate", he declared matter-of-factly before a softer yet pained expression crossed his face. "She's everything to me."

At that moment, I suddenly understood why he was so aggressive toward Emily. Cook loved Naomi, really, truly loved her. The moment I had laid eyes on her, I had realized that despite her and Cook's seemingly intimate connection and him lying in her bed when we walked in, Naomi was most definitely gay. I saw it the minute her sad eyes focused on Emily and it only confirmed my earlier suspicions about her being flirtatious. But Cook loved her in a way you don't see often these days. He knew there was nothing romantic in her love for him, no matter how deep it went, but he would spend the rest of his life wishing, but not hoping, there would be. Thinking about it made my heart bleed and once again, I found myself saddened at never having experienced that kind of love in my life. I needed a cigarette, badly.

"I don't suppose you could offer a girl a fag?" Cook immediately conjured a packet and offered both me and James one. I slapped his hand away as he reached for the packet. "Oh no, James", I injected shaking my head, "Katie would _kill _me."

We were walking slowly toward the courtyard when Cook turned to me with a determined yet nervous look, "Will she fuck her up?"

I honestly didn't know if she would, Emily's head was anything but sane and reliable these days and her situation with Jeremy remained unresolved. _I wonder how Katie is telling Jeremy... _When we reached her door, we stopped outside it and I turned to Cook, "Not intentionally, no. Emily's head might be a big mess but her heart is in the right place." He grimaced at that and I realized it wasn't good enough for him. "I think her heart lies with your girl up there."

**Katie's POV**

It's amazing what a little heartache and betrayal can do to make a beautiful person look absolutely wretched. I was waiting for Jeremy at a café close to his sister's flat and almost missed him when he walked in. Normally, Jeremy is all business; suits, ties and polished shoes but today he was wearing a pair of loose jeans and a hoodie, both of which looked to have around ten years of wear and tear on them. He slid down into the seat across from me without a word, pushing the hood of the sweater back as he did. I liked him, I really did and he had done nothing to deserve this heartache, well, nothing aside from fall in love with my sexually confused sister.

"Would you like something?" I asked as sweetly as possibly without it sounding condescending. He shook his head and looked away or, presumably, anywhere but directly at me. I suppose being the twin of the person who is causing your heartbreak has its obvious downsides. I waited for him to focus on me before I spoke again.

"Look, Jeremy…"

"Did you know?", he interrupted and turned to stare at me. Anger was visible in his eyes and his tone was far from friendly.

Having known me for more than three years, he should really know better than to take his anger out on me but I decided to give him some leeway since I was the one who had asked him here. I shook my head, "About Naomi, no." He looked relieved, which puzzled me slightly. "But I did know something was going on with her when I saw her Friday."

"Something has been 'going on' with her for a long time now", Jeremy spat out, his words laced with hostility.

Surprised at both his hostility and statement, I glared at him for a moment, "What do you mean?"

"It's like she has used _every_ excuse not to spend time with me." The malice in Jeremy's voice made it clear that he had been angry with Emily for a while. "And I know, she gets too involved with work sometimes but this is different, she has been deliberately pulling away."

The malice in his voice lessened with every word and was replaced with desperation and despair. He sighed, "At first I thought it was because of the engagement, that she got a touch of cold feet but it was more than just not spending time together or not sleeping together, she stopped sharing her life with me completely."

He buried his head in his hands and looked up at me with sad eyes, "All we've done lately is fight and of course I'm aware it doesn't help that I'm away a lot. But when I've travelled in the past, even for just one night, everything was better when I came home – like she had missed me and was glad to see me. Now when I come home after being gone an entire week, she barely even kisses me to say hello." He leaned back and rested against the chair, his hands held out in question. "So yeah, something has been going on for a while now…"

I was fully aware of the fact that Emily had been caught up in work lately and she had been spending quite a lot of time with James since he moved here, but neither had set off warning bells in my head. She and James had a heartening relationship these days and Emily's idea of proper working hours was putting in at least 50 hours a week. My dear sister had, however, neglected to tell me about their fights or the apparent lack of an active sex life. This thing with Naomi was starting to make a whole lot of sense all of a sudden.

"What do you fight about?", I asked and put on a sweet, understanding expression that would have given Effy's otherwise famous pokerface a run for its money.

He leaned towards me again, "Everything! But mostly her working too much. I keep dropping hints that she never seems to pick up on and I'm running out of time and out of patience!" He was getting a little loud and drawing some annoyed looks from the other patrons, so I reached out and put my hand on his to calm him. One phrase had stuck with me though.

"What do you mean, running out of time?"

He sighed, clearly frustrated. "I was offered to head the Zurich office about two months ago. They want me to move there permanently and I've even secured Emily a job working with some great scientists there."

"But she won't go?", I asked, feigning surprise. I knew my sister well enough to know she wouldn't leave her position with Kieran easily, if ever.

"Well, I haven't told her yet, but no, she's not picking up on the hints and since she has been working nonstop and seemingly loving every minute of it, I doubt she will be joining me in Zurich next month", Jeremy said sarcastically.

"You took the job already?", I asked, this time not having to fake the surprise. "And you are moving next month?" He nodded. "When were you going to tell Emily?"

He shrugged and tried to seem indifferent but it was clear he was feeling guilty about the whole thing. "I kept waiting for the right moment. I was ecstatic when they gave me the job and I haven't been able to share it with my fiancée yet out of fear that she might not follow me there and in the worst case, leave me. I thought if I kept dropping hints, Emily of all people would pick up on it and ask me outright but she never did." He finally broke and I saw his despair shine through. "She hasn't even contemplated why I have to travel to Zurich every week, all week for the past two months. Little did I know that it wouldn't have mattered anyway, she was going to leave me either way, only not for the reason I feared."

Jeremy was an attentive, sweet guy. Really, he was and he understood how Emily worked, how her analytical mind overpowered most other things. He had always respected her career choices and given her space to pursue her dreams, even when it meant spending a little too much time apart. Knowing all this naturally made it a surprise to hear that he for once had acted selfishly and, in my honest opinion, childishly. Taking a promotion which included moving to a different country without telling Emily was uncharacteristic of him and was clearly a result of his unhappiness at their current situation. The fact that my sister hadn't picked up on his hints or even the fact that Jeremy was basically already spending most of his time in Zurich, was another piece to the puzzle that was Naomi.

Coming here, I hadn't been sure what to tell Jeremy. I wanted to protect Emily from herself and from the heartbreak her involvement with Naomi would most definitely result in, and even though I was very confident about the fact that my sister was a closeted lesbian, I had never pushed the issue. Whatever Emily wanted out of life, it was up to her to figure it out in her own time. You can't force someone to realize the truth about their sexuality, even when it is obvious as fuck to everyone else. Part of me was ecstatic at the thought of Emily finally letting her gay show but at the same time, I knew this situation would cause her so much heartbreak that she might never risk venturing down this path again and in that case, she needed Jeremy.

In any case, I had set out to do some damage control on my sister's behalf and despite wanting to tell Jeremy that I believed Emily was gay, gay, gay, I decided against it.

"You should have told her about the job, Jeremy. And you should know better than try to make her feel guilty about working so that she would quit her job and follow you to Zurich", I said with a stern look and harsh tone. He knew this of course, and looked small as he nodded. "But Emily hasn't been fair to you either and this whole thing with Naomi is confusing for her. She didn't mean to betray you and feels horrible about it, even though she technically barely has. It's all very innocent and it will stay that way regardless of what they feel for each other."

"Wait, what?", Jeremy interrupted. "You mean this Naomi girl has feelings for Emily?"

Since I wasn't sure what Naomi was or wanted, I couldn't really answer that. "No, I don't know if she does. But it doesn't matter, Jeremy, since she has less than a few months to live." Even saying those words made me cringe and they had their effect on Jeremy as well. He looked miserable and needed some encouragement.

"You need to give her space to figure this out. So go to Zurich tomorrow and talk to her when you come back. But you should be honest with her because clearly, she's not the only one who has been betraying someone." I was referring to his promotion and he winced at my use of the word betrayal. It hadn't dawned on him how wrong it had been to not include Emily in his plans. _I mean who moves to a different country without telling their fiancée?_

He nodded slowly with a somber look on his face. "Are you willing to do that? To wait for her until she figures this out?" He hesitated for a moment before nodding again.

"Good." I smiled at him, this time earnestly, "Now, is there anything you need from the flat?"

**Naomi's POV**

Pulling Emily into my arms had felt like the most natural thing in the world and I instantly forgot the heartache she had been the cause of just moments earlier. As soon as she had surprised me with another kiss, I was once again lost in my fluttering stomach and rapidly beating heart. Her words had resonated with me, carving their way into my battered heart and soul and my body was screaming out for her to kiss me again. But she hadn't. She had turned and walked away with a shocked expression and I had gotten out of bed as quickly as my tired body would let me. I wasn't about to let her slip through my fingers.

As amazing as it was kissing her, it was exhausting for me to stand for too long and I was getting tired. _How long have we been standing here, kissing?_ I started to pull away but Emily would have none of it and instead seemed to read my mind as she moved me backwards toward the bed. I sat down with a little 'thump', Emily's lips letting go of mine for only a brief second. She stood between my legs and pressed as much of her body against me as possible while continuing to make me dizzy with wonderful kisses. My arms were resting on her hips, just below her waistline and I could feel the tight stomach and skin underneath her shirt. Had I been at full strength, I would have pulled her down onto the bed and ripped the clothes off her back. Unfortunately, all I could muster at the moment was to slip my fingertips under the rim of her t-shirt as my hands rested on her hips. That was apparently enough to make Emily's breath hitch and I marveled at her ability to send burst of electricity coursing through me with a simple, almost silent inhale.

I had lost all sense of time and space and had therefore lost track of how long we had been glued together when she finally pulled away, a gleeful look on her face. She kept her eyes closed for a couple of seconds and when she opened them, a wide smile spread on her face as she locked her eyes with mine, making her even more beautiful.

"I thought I had forced myself on you", she said, still smiling. "I felt guiltier about that than anything else." Her smile faltered slightly and was replaced by confusion. "But what about your boyfriend?"

She had mentioned something about a boyfriend in her rant earlier too and it dawned on me who she was referring to. "You mean Cook?" She nodded, an apprehensive and slightly frightened look on her exquisite face. I smiled, "You can relax, he is just a friend." I smirked, "Well, unless you hurt me, then he'll be out for blood and you'd best leave town!"

Emily swallowed hard and had obviously not caught on to my sarcasm, although in retrospect, she probably thought Cook might actually physically assault her if she hurt me, given the tense situation earlier. I felt a wide, overbearing smile spread on my lips and simply had to kiss her again, her apprehension being too adorable to resist. I moved my hands up to her face and for the first time allowed myself to caress her cheeks and study her features with my fingertips before pulling her down for another kiss.

We yet again lost ourselves in hot kisses and I couldn't remember the last time I felt this wonderful. A faint noise almost disturbed the impeccable sensation Emily's lips were causing me to feel but I managed to push it away. It wasn't until I registered Mum's booming voice that I was able to rip myself from Emily's lips. She instantly became a little shy at the idea of Mum catching us but she should really have been worried about an entirely different thing. Kieran was standing behind Mum with his arms crossed in front of his chest and an uncharacteristically stern look on his face.

**It's a bumpy road for our girls and their loved ones and ethical regulations are not to be toyed with, unfortunately…**

**Thanks for reading! Sound off in a review if you get the inclination to, I am always ecstatic to read them! **


	12. Chapter 12 - Attack is the Best Defense

**A/N – This update took longer than I thought it would. I want to thank each and every one of you, the readers, followers and reviewers for sticking with me and for showing your appreciation for the story. I hope you continue to do so despite my less frequent updates.  
><strong>

**To Guest reviewer 'Steph' – Your kind words brought color to my cheeks and warmed my heart...  
><strong>

**Chapter 12. Attack is the Best Defense**

**Emily's POV**

It was all a blur, really. I had been losing myself in Naomi's blissful touch, only to be ripped from her to face a bearded Aussie screaming something resembling English at me outside her door. I could tell he was upset from his increasingly pronounced Australian accent and there was nothing to do but wait and let him get it out before replying. Seeing as I currently had no excuses or explanations for the situation he had walked in on, the extra time was a much needed help. I was about to lose my job but the severity and brutal reality of the situation had yet to dawn on me. All I wanted, was to spend an eternity getting lost in Naomi's eyes and the way she made me feel but it was an eternity she did not have. As that particular thought sunk in, my brain seemed to awaken from its current dream state and I was able to focus on what Kieran was saying.

"… not only will you lose the respect of your peers but you could lose the privileges to work on clinical trials all together! Honestly Emily, what were you thinking? And what about Jeremy? I thought you were getting married soon? Does he know about this?"

I held up my hands in defense and an attempt at trying to get Kieran to stop for a second and let me answer. He suppressed any further rants and clenched his jaw, awaiting my explanation. Unfortunately, the best explanation I had to offer was one that would most definitely result in all of the consequences Kieran had mentioned and quite possibly additional ones. The worst case scenario, one Kieran hadn't even thought of, would result in us losing our approval for the trial if it was ever made public that one of the medical professionals had been taking advantage of a patient. Even if the two parties involved were consensual adults, there were still issues regarding sexual harassment and ethical codes and regulations. I was happy this hadn't dawned on him since he would most likely have fired me on the spot despite his fondness for me.

I've known for most of my life that I am a terrible liar. Whenever Katie and I had misbehaved, our father would pull me aside and wait for me to break before handing out the punishment. Since Katie was usually responsible for the shenanigans and I always fessed up, she would get a much harder reprimand than me but she had her own way of dealing with me, so I suppose things evened themselves out regardless. Standing there, under Kieran's scrutiny and facing the biggest failure and shameful moment of my life, I was cursing myself for being a slave to honesty and wishing my sister was here to lend a helping hand. 'She's the most beautiful creature I have ever known and I hate you for ripping me away from her', was all that was coursing through my brain and telling Kieran that was obviously out of the question. _Fuck! _

"Kieran? Emily?", Gina called from behind us. We both turned to face her, "Naomi would like to speak to you both." I suppressed a sigh of relief. At least this gave me more time to think, time I desperately needed. So far, my best course of action was to run for the hills and then come back, scale the wall of the hospital and crawl in through Naomi's window. I swallowed hard and followed Kieran back into the room.

I noticed that Naomi was back in her bed, safely tucked under the covers. She had a determined expression in her eyes but there was a hint of guilt as well. Gina cleared her throat, gave her daughter a stern look and nodded towards Kieran and me. Immediately, her expression transformed into one of extreme insecurity and embarrassment and she even shied away from meeting our eyes. Instead, she fiddled with her hands, currently resting in her lap, as she started to speak.

"I… Emily, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have done that." My jaw dropped but I collected myself immediately, realizing that she was trying to take the blame. She looked up at Kieran, her eyes literally pleading with him. I couldn't believe what I was hearing and I really didn't think Kieran would believe her either. I had, after all, had my arms around her neck, my hands buried in her hair as he walked in on us.

I noticed Kieran glance at Gina who was nodding, a solemn look on her face as she patted Naomi's leg in support.

"Ms. Campbell, are you telling me that you were the instigator here? That Emily was an unwilling participant? Because it didn't really look like she was doing much to rectify the situation." He eyed her skeptically and sounded like Dad used to when he interrogated me, clearly not believing a word Naomi had said. Thankfully, she was apparently more adept at lying than I was and answered him without blinking.

"What would you have her do?", she asked, slightly annoyed. "Push me away? Reject me?" She looked to me and the expression in her eyes softened, "She wouldn't do that." She turned back to Kieran, the annoyance now replaced with a shameful look. "So I took advantage of the situation."

"But why would you force yourself on someone, ultimately jeopardizing your place here and hers?" A vein on Kieran's forehead was the only tell-tale sign that he was angry but he was keeping it under control, his voice calm and overbearing. Arguing with a patient was clearly not something he was interested in but unfortunately, it made him come off as condescending and I could literally feel the hostility now emanating from Naomi. Clearly, that didn't sit well with her.

"I felt like fucking kissing someone, okay?" The words were angry and loud, spoken through a clenched jaw. "One last time before I'm too weak or too doped up to feel it." She locked her eyes with his, challenging him and I suddenly understood why she had chosen to become a lawyer. The scrutinizing look she gave him was terrifying and powerful and I knew I would have cracked within a second under her gaze.

Kieran didn't though but I could sense his façade was starting to falter as the throbbing vein on his forehead disappeared. All that was left was the highly skeptical look he had given her earlier. "But of all people, why Emily?", he asked and turned to me. I honestly tried to speak and even opened my mouth but nothing escaped me. I wondered if my voice failing me for the second time today was due to last night's bender or because I was trying to think of a lie. Either way, I wasn't much help to Naomi and Kieran turned to look at her again.

**Effy's POV**

We heard angry voices as we neared Naomi's room, Cook and I automatically speeding up and actually taking a few running steps to close the distance as fast as possible. I quickly took in the scene playing out in front of us when we reached her room. Kieran was angry, Emily looked scared shitless and Naomi was practically beaming with a mixture of contempt and defiance. A woman with sandy hair was standing by Naomi's bed, a hand gently resting on her leg, her mother presumably.

Kieran hadn't noticed our arrival and looked back and forth between Emily and Naomi like an angry father trying to get one of them to break in order to figure out who was to blame for whatever was going on. It didn't require much to deduce what he was upset about and when he spoke, I was most definitely certain of what had happened. Like I said, I have great intuition.

"Well?", Kieran asked angrily and gave Emily a hostile look that was nothing like the pleasant, laid-back Aussie I had met a few times in the past.

Naomi was the one to speak and thank the stars for that, because I knew Emily was the worst liar on the planet. "I don't know, how many reasons can you think of for kissing someone?", she said in a sarcastic and spiteful tone, her eyes beaming with challenge. Kieran opened his mouth to reply but I beat him to it.

"Oh come on, Kieran! You can't really blame her, can you?" I said and gave Kieran a sly smile when he turned to face me, a small shock present on his face. I suppose being caught by civilians arguing with a patient and an employee and wasn't the most professional thing he had ever done. I took a step forward, placing myself in between Kieran and Cook, who had tensed up since entering the room. "Look at her", I said and nodded at Emily, "Don't tell me you've never noticed how beautiful your protégé is?"

Kieran's enraged expression shifted and he looked incredibly uncomfortable all of a sudden. It seemed he was indeed _not _immune to Emily's allure and to my surprise, Naomi's presumed mother shot him a disapproving look. Naomi instantly caught onto my train of thought and quickly chimed in to make sure we broke him. "Is that it? Are you angry because I chose to take advantage of a young woman you find attractive yourself?", she asked with what I assumed was feigned abhorrence. "Or is your anger directed at her for not rejecting me?"

Kieran looked aghast at the insane accusations, his face suddenly sporting a reddish color and he was at a loss for words. Clearly, he was abhorred at being called out as an intolerant, insensitive bigot and Naomi used his unfocused state to catch my eye and give me a thankful smile. I winked in reply and felt Cook place his hand at the small of my back as if to say 'good job'. It was strange and unexpected but tingles appeared and lingered where Cook's hand had touched my back even seconds after he had removed it.

"Everyone, stop!" Emily's words brought me back to reality and I focused on her as she turned to face Kieran. I recognized the look on her face and rolled my eyes in a mix irritation and frustration. _Emily and her fucking honesty. _She was clearly feeling horrible about turning the situation into a verbal attack on Kieran's moral character instead of her own. She was going to blow the lid off the magnificent lie Naomi and I had conjured up without knowing each other, and ending her career in medicine in the process. "Kieran, Naomi and I have been spending some time together because – "

"They realized they knew each other back in Bristol", I blurted out and walked towards Naomi. "In fact, we all did." I could tell she was once again completely in line with my train of thought and I wasn't the least bit surprised when she reached up to give me a slight embrace as I reached her bedside, greeting me like the old friend I was trying to convince Kieran I was.

"I'm ashamed to admit it", Naomi started shyly and looked embarrassed and directly at Emily, "but I really fancied you back then, Emily, and seeing you now made all of the old feelings return." She switched her gaze back to Kieran and shrugged. "I just had to go for it, you know?" She started fidgeting with her hands again and turned her eyes down, seemingly embarrassed and shy.

Emily was about to blow our cover once again but stopped abruptly when she saw the look on Kieran's face. He had bought our story, which honestly was brilliantly conducted, and had adopted a sympathetic expression. _Damn it, why didn't I think of that to begin with! _Kieran's face no longer looked flushed and both his anger and abhorrence at our accusations had vanished. All that was left was his extremely empathetic eyes and I instantly felt an unprecedented sense of guilt wash over me. This man was one of the kindest, most honest, good-natured human beings I had ever met and we had collectively painted a picture that made him out to be a homophobi, perving bigot. I swallowed hard and had to look away. I found some comfort in Cook, who was regarding me with an understanding and thankful look in his eyes.

With a quick glance in Emily's direction, Kieran walked to Naomi's bed and took her hand. "Of course, Ms. Campbell, I understand." He smiled warmly at her, making sure to show Naomi's mother that he was indeed not the homophobe that Naomi and I had effectively pointed him out to be. "But regardless of your history, Emily is involved in your trial and acting on your impulses like that could have jeopardized our entire practice."

"I understand", Naomi replied with a somber look on her face. "I apologize, I didn't mean to imply that you were a bigot, Kieran. I lost my temper." I nodded in agreement, figuring it was best to resolve the entire situation before it developed into having to walk on eggshells around Emily's boss. I also wasn't sure I could live with myself if I allowed that kind man to think he was anything other than the fantastic person he truly was.

"I'm sorry too", I injected and meant it with all my heart. The next part however, was less honest, "I get a little protective when it comes to two of my favorite girls." I put my arm around Naomi again and gave 'my friend' a little squeeze. Emily had a curious look on her face, as did James but surprisingly, they both displayed the wisdom to keep their mouths shut. Kieran smiled warmly at me and to my great relief, I sensed no insincerity.

He turned to face Emily, "I'm sorry, Emily. I jumped to the wrong conclusion and was quick to take it out on you." To my surprise, Emily simply nodded and smiled shyly. I was sure she was going to try and destroy our beautiful lie again but apparently, the thought of not losing her job or the chance of spending more time with Naomi, this time under the excuse of being old friends, was a little too appealing for even Emily to come clean.

"I should have known better than to assume that you were happily kissing another woman." Emily's cheeks started to redden a little but Kieran didn't seem to notice as he continued to smile warmly at her. "See you bright and early tomorrow?", he asked and excitement flared in his eyes, much like Emily when she tried discussing her work with us mere mortals. She nodded and Kieran looked around the room, smiling and giving everyone a slight nod before leaving. Naomi's mother hesitated for a moment before following, practically running after Kieran and closing the door behind her.

We all let out a sigh of relief and I heard Naomi chuckle next to me. I turned to see her cover her bubbling laughter with both hands and behind me, Cook and James were trying less hard to hide theirs. What had taken place in the last ten minutes was neither funny nor pleasant and I for one felt guilty for turning it into an attack on Kieran. But anything was better than allowing Emily to lose her job over something as silly as her, albeit inappropriate, affection for a patient. The fact that Naomi found it amusing was surprising since I thought I had seen honest guilt and shame at the situation in her eyes earlier. I suppressed a frown as I turned to look at the others.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry…". Naomi shook both hands, as if trying to suppress the urge to keep laughing. "There's nothing funny about this, I know and I certainly didn't enjoy it." She cleared her throat and adopted a somber look, shaking her head slightly, "I don't know why I couldn't stop myself from laughing, I really do feel bad for attacking him like that."

Emily, who clearly hadn't found the situation amusing at all, walked to Naomi's bedside to stand across from me. I anxiously studied my friend's face, scared that she would lose her temper and go off on both of us for the way we had treated Kieran. Where Katie was prone to temper tantrums, Emily hardly ever showed signs of actually being capable of experiencing anger, making the possibility of it happening now nothing short of positively horrifying. Emily's face however, bore no traces of lingering anger or resentment. All I could see was an unparalleled look of pure adoration confirming once again what Naomi not only represented but what she really _meant_ to Emily and my heart bled for them once again.

**Thanks for reading!**

**They got away with it this time but we'll see how long that lasts. I will be adding more science in the following chapters since Naomi's treatments will start soon… **

**I have no idea how long it will take to update but I will do my best, resorting to using pen and paper in order to write while lying on the beach! Sound off in a review if you feel like adding some fuel to my fire :)  
><strong>


	13. Chapter 13 - A Much Needed Time-out

**A/N – So it turns out that travelling in Australia leaves little time for writing, spending 12 hours at a café at Sydney Airport however, does! I hope you find it worth the wait, even if it is something of a filler chapter, which, btw, I'm not happy with at all. Having left the story for more than a month, I found it hard to get back into it, simple as that!**

**Thank you for your kind reviews and sorry for the late, late, late update!**

**Chapter 13**

**Naomi's POV**

When Mum returned, we had all had a chance to introduce ourselves, giving our elaborate lie some truth to it. I had learned that the young man was Emily's younger brother and that the elegant lie we had come up with could actually easily have been the truth. It turns out that Effy dated Freddie McClair for a while back in college. Considering how close he and Cook were back then and the fact that we seemed to have other mutual acquaintances, it felt strange that we had never met. On the other hand, having never been fond of Freddie, I usually tried to stay as far away from him as possible. He was crude and a sexist pig, much like Cook had been back then, but without the good heart. I had only tolerated Freddie because of Cook's immense loyalty to him but since their falling out, I hadn't given good old Mr. McClair much thought.

Emily had taken a seat at the foot of my bed and hadn't said more than a few words since Kieran and Mum had left the room. She was smiling though, which I took as a positive sign that she wasn't too resentful of the way we had treated her boss. It was strange really, how Effy and I had been able to conjure up such an intricate lie and I was amazed at her instantaneous grasp of the situation, acting on pure intuition. All Emily had told me about her was her ability to create beautiful things and I suppose a lie could be regarded as a thing of beauty - in which case it all made perfect sense.

I was far from proud of what had happened but I wasn't about to let Emily take the fall and, perhaps more importantly, I wasn't going to allow Kieran to take her away from me after so soon after having found her. I would literally have said anything in order to let her stay. I couldn't help but smile warmly at Emily as her hand came to rest on my leg and she briefly caught my eye.

Effy was still sitting taking up space in my fairly crowded bed but for some reason, I didn't mind her intrusion. Whether it was due to our little bonding session earlier or her confident, easy going-manner, I will probably never know but regardless of why, it felt rather nice. In the span of one weekend, the amount of people I had allowed into my room had increased from one person – Mum, to Emily, Cook and now Emily's brother and Effy. James didn't really say much though, he mostly stood behind Emily and gawked at me with wide eyes like he had never seen a gay person before. _Or perhaps a dying person?_

We were once again sharing a laugh when Mum came back, this time over Effy's anecdote of her and Emily's sister getting back at Freddie McClair for playing them against each other. I had to admit that despite my dislike of Freddie, I wasn't sure I thought anyone deserved such harsh punishment. When she entered, we all hushed and put on somber expressions. We had agreed that it was vital to keep up appearances and unfortunately, Mum was too infatuated with Kieran and too honest for her own good and would most likely spill the beans to him about me and Emily if we came clean. At least for now, we had to keep up the lie and act like old friends which at the moment, was hardly much of a problem. We were acting like teenagers, hushing when the only adult entered the room and despite my guilty conscience about keeping Mum out of the loop, I took one look at the beautiful brunette sitting by my feet and felt that guilt quickly disappear.

Mum is anything if not perceptive and read that her presence was a slight disturbance to our little 'reunion'. She sent me an overbearing smile before turning to face the rest of the room, "Would any of you like some dinner?", she asked, still smiling.

"Yes!", Cook and James screamed out in unison, Cook eying his younger sidekick before grinning and punching the boy lightly on the shoulder, making me laugh.

"Great! Then the two of you can help me carry it", Mum said and James' excitement faded slightly. She picked up her purse and gestured toward the door. They followed, Cook making sure to smile at me before leaving and closing the door behind him. I heard Mum ask the both of them what they fancied and James loudly voiced his opinion. Apparently, we were having pizza for dinner tonight.

**Emily's POV**

Once the three of us were alone, Effy got up from Naomi's bed and busied herself with her phone as she took a few steps towards the door, keeping her back turned to us. I knew she was trying to give me some privacy without actually _giving_ us privacy. Effy and Naomi's little trick had temporarily bought us more time but there were no guarantees of how long it would last, leaving me with little time to waste. I turned to look at Naomi and found her already watching me, something akin to fire discernable in her eyes. The look was new and set my heart racing as the rest of my body responded by jumping up and walking to her side.

I found no reason to wait for her permission and planted a soft kiss on her lips. Naomi happily returned the kiss, her hands ever so gently caressing my face as she did. I have never been a fan of public displays of affection and hardly gave Jeremy more than a peck on the cheek or a chaste kiss on his lips, even in front of my sister or Effy. I never much felt the need for it and never understood the appeal. Until this very moment, that is. Somehow, it felt like the world would end if I didn't kiss her, as if I would be in physical pain if her hands left my face.

After what seemed like only a second, I heard Effy clear her throat and reluctantly pulled away, panting slightly as Naomi had succeeded in leaving me breathless with mere soft, innocent kisses.

"I'm sorry, Ems, but your sister wants a word."

Naomi released me from her hold and I closed my eyes, gathering up the strength to talk to my sister. I knew it would be about Jeremy, well either that or Effy had been giving her a report on earlier events. Regardless, it was hardly going to be a conversation that would leave me in a particularly good mood. I reluctantly took Effy's phone from her outstretched hand and walked outside, closing the door behind me.

"_Emsy?"_ Surprisingly, Katie's voice was laced with concern and not the expected annoyance at having to wait a while before I answered. "_Are you alright?" More concern, strange._

"I'm fine, Katie." I realized she probably didn't know what had just happened and was referring to my general state of being. After all, the last time she saw me I was a wreck, my head in a bucket full of my own stomach acid. "Effy said you needed a word?"

"_Good, I'm glad."_ She started, a hint of apprehension in her voice. "_I spoke to Jeremy…"_, she paused before continuing, "_we went back to the apartment and he packed some things for his trip to Zurich tomorrow." _Odd, I couldn't recall him mentioning he had to go to Zurich again this Monday but realizing it hardly mattered now, I let it slip.

"Thanks, Katie, you really didn't have to do that, you know." I paused because despite being truly thankful for her help, Katie rarely did these things without having an ulterior motive. I just wasn't sure what it was yet and decided to ignore it for now and simply appreciate her dealing with the situation for me. "I'm grateful though, truly."

"_Please, it was nothing, anything for you, Emsy", _she said sweetly, without hints of sarcasm or insincerity. _What is it with everyone today, all helpful and insightful?_

"_Right", _she started, the distinct and loud sound of her car engine starting up startling me slightly, "_Which room is she in then?" _Effy obviously _had _updated her but I couldn't really blame her, or any of them, for their curiosity. Katie surely didn't deserve any resentment after what she had done for me during the past 24 hours.

I let out a sigh. "Room 306, Nuclear Medicine and Radiology."

I walked in on Effy and Naomi having what seemed like an intimate, albeit platonic moment. As I handed the phone back to Effy, I noticed her eyes were shining more brightly than usual but the sadness displayed in them convinced me it was not due to gaining a new friend. I walked to Naomi's side and found the same desolation on display on her beautiful face. Effy sniffled a little and shook her head in dismissal.

"I don't know how you do it, Emily."

I frowned. "What?"

Naomi took hold of my hand and laced her fingers with mine. It felt divine and utterly natural. "How you can stand being around sick people with death sentences every day and not go jump off a building."

"Ah, that!" I nodded once and sat down at Naomi's bedside. "I suppose I try and think that these people will help us cure others. I probably cry more during a normal work day than most people but the things we do here can be magical to experience." I smiled affectionately at her, "Naomi will help us cure others and hopefully, her knowing this, will give her life more meaning."

Despite my trying to lighten the mood, it did little for any of us. Granted, it was a standard speech I had heard Kieran and JJ give patients and their loved ones time and time again but I honestly did believe it. How could I not, doing what I do?

Effy nodded solemnly and wiped a runaway tear from her cheek. I watched as my friend took a deep breath and regained her composure. She smiled and slid down into a chair by Naomi's bed. "You know, I really should try and pay more attention to you when you tell me about your work, Emsy…"

"I gave up on you years ago", I laughed, "James is the only one who really listens _and _tries to understand!"

"Is James clever, like you?" Naomi interrupted with honest curiosity.

Effy snorted and shook her head, laughing, "Oh no, no one's clever like Emily, Naomi." I opened my mouth to object but she continued, "Alright, maybe a few, but the odds of them being in the same room are probably gastronomic."

I felt my face redden as Naomi turned to me, a proud smirk on her lips. "Really?" It was more of a statement than a question but my face turned crimson nonetheless. I shied away from Naomi's dissecting yet teasing gaze and felt utterly self-conscious. Being clever was never something I had been proud of because I knew it wasn't any of my doing, not really. I just had good genes and a thirst for knowledge.

Effy nodded and either didn't pick up on my discomfort or chose to ignore it, knowing Effy, it was likely the latter of the two. The silence stretched on, Naomi eyeing me curiously with the same smirk across her lips and all I could think of was bending down and wiping it off using my lips. I was about to follow through on my instincts when James came bursting through the door carrying several plastic bags of drinks and snack foods.

"Sorry", he paused, slightly out of breath, "Cook sent me ahead to make sure we didn't walk in on something. Well, walk in on something _again_", he said with a crooked smile and the hint of a suggestive wink. His winks were improving, any day now and he might actually succeed in doing it subtly. He looked back over his shoulder, checking for Gina and Cook. "Coast is still clear though, if you wanna, you know…", he hinted at Naomi.

Before I could react, Naomi pulled me down for a kiss and the sound of James' reaction faded for a few, all too brief moments. She released me and straightened my shirt where she had pulled at it. "Time to act professionally, _Emsy."_ She deliberately emphasized the affectionate name Effy had used earlier, smiling quite proudly as she made me blush anew. I bit my lip and glanced at the door before stealing another quick kiss.

**Naomi's POV**

I outdid myself by eating not one, not two but three entire slices of a surprisingly delicious pizza. I hadn't had that big of an appetite in months and glancing at Emily, I suspected that my current mood change was the cause. Watching her now, she seemed much more relaxed being around her own friends as well as mine. Knowing that Cook wasn't going to pummel her had probably increased her confidence slightly as well. However, having her sit at the foot of my bed was proving to be a frustrating experience. The sensation of her warm, tight body pressing against me and her mouth eagerly attacking mine was still evident in my mind and despite the lovely company, I was growing desperate and impatient. I had tried hinting at Cook and he was usually quite good at picking up unspoken signals but today he was proving to be quite thick.

I slid down in the bed and accepted that this new 'gang' of visitors would be sticking around for a while. Don't get me wrong, they were all making my short life better and I felt guilty about wanting to throw both Mum and Cook out the door but nothing can really compare to the extraordinary sensation of falling in love. So yeah, I needed them to leave.

To my surprise, James was the one who seemed to catch one of my attempts at signaling Cook. He suddenly sat up straight in his chair, which honestly seemed quite uncharacteristic of him, having previously done nothing more than slouch in the very same chair despite feasting on an entire pizza. He wiped his mouth and took a sip of his coke before clearing his throat.

"Emily, I've been meaning to ask you something about the trial…", he started and waited until she turned to face him.

"And?", she asked before pressing a much too large bite of pizza in her mouth.

James leant forward, placing his elbows on his knees and transforming from a shy, young boy to an intelligent, inquisitive young man before my eyes. "Well, the last time we talked, you mentioned having issues with the delivery of the radiosensitizer and were contemplating using a different method." He shrugged and continued, "Since I've met one of the patients now, I was wondering which one you ended up choosing? I know it's getting late but it would be fun to know before we have to leave."

"James, you and I have _very _different ideas on how to determine 'fun'", Effy interrupted with a sigh. "But you're right, we should probably be leaving soon." She shot me an understanding smile and I knew she saw right through me. I was starting to understand that it was common to feel that way around her.

Emily however, seemed less intuitive and the prospect of lecturing us on science was apparently more important than getting to spend time with me, alone no less. _Didn't Effy just call her a genius or something an hour ago?_

"Well, that's an interesting question, James..." Emily started and I noticed Effy rolling her eyes realizing, like I had, that Emily had missed the entire point to James' question. It wasn't to necessarily press her for details but more a reminder that it was getting late and they should take their leave. I poked Emily's leg with my foot, which succeeded in making her pause but only momentarily. She was still completely unaware of her brother's attempt at being considerate and giving us an opening for a fast goodbye and the privacy I was in desperate need of. "We were having issues last year, when –"

"Really, Ems, _that's _what you choose to spend this little reunion doing?" A voice with a slight lisp suddenly interrupted, "Talking shop?" I turned to see someone I instantly recognized as Emily's twin standing in the doorway. She gave me a quick once-over before walking towards my bed and leaning down to give me a quick peck on the cheek. She had the most conniving smirk on her face but seeing as I had never seen her before, I wasn't sure if it was her usual expression. Despite being twins and, I must confess, very similar, there was a completely different force emanating from Katie. It was clear she was a powerful character, her confidence in herself radiating from miles away. Her style was very different from what I was used to seeing Emily in, much more colorful and playful._ Youthful, I suppose_. Both she and Effy had that whole aura of being artistic about them and under different circumstances, I would probably have found both Katie and Effy attractive. All I saw now was the polar opposite to the dark-haired beauty sitting by my feet with a slightly apprehensive expression on her face.

"Naomi, I came as soon as I heard," the smirk on her face was quickly replaced by a seemingly sincere smile as she turned to face Mum. "Mrs. Campbell, I'm so happy to finally meet you. We never got the chance to back in Bristol." Mum stood, seemingly quite stunned and confused but nevertheless shook Katie's outstretched hand and smiled.

Realizing that no one had ever mentioned Katie to Mum, I jumped in. "Mum, this is Katie and yes, her and Emily are twins so you can stop gawking." Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Effy winking at me, obviously picking up on how I had elegantly given our lie more depth. After all, if we weren't all old chums, how could I possibly know Katie's name?

**Thanks for reading! I realized early on that the science wasn't going to fit into this chapter and will be pushed to the next one – as will much needed Naomily-privacy, this I can promise.**

**As always, I appreciate any and all feedback and as you can imagine, I'm currently suffering from review/feedback/follow/fav/general writing obsession-based withdrawal! :)  
><strong>


End file.
